30 March 2009

Spoon Central

I only get a handful of hits per day when I've not just posted something. Increasingly, those hits are coming from Google searches for one topic: spooning. Apparently, the masses worldwide thirst for spooning education. And somehow, it appears my posts are getting clicks and climbing in the results. Big Spoon has become somewhat of a Google darling on the subject. Here are some recent searches leading people to my tangled little corner of the web (not exclusively to the aforementioned post):

inappropriate attraction
[I'm the #1 result for that search...I'm not sure that's flattering]
intimate spooning
intimate body language spooning
spooning gay term
i like being little spoon and i'm a guy
guy little spoon
fooling around and celibacy
mormon repentance for dry humping naked
cryptic language
big spoon little spoon dominance
spooning height
some insecurities
are you doing OK%3F I am what I don%27t want to be...Now its your turn to speak cryptically.... We will always understand each other, even if vaguely. we
original mohomie
what is spooning between two people
sexual small spoon big spoon
origin of the term spooning
uncertain gay shirts
vague references
27 year old virgin

And this is just in the last week.

...the last term reminds me, that's probably the second-most searched-for thing leading people to my blog. Being a 27-year-old virgin is apparently of some concern to people around the world. Who knew?

So maybe I should change my blog's focus. Shift it away from this whole mormon gay thing. Become the internet's foremost authority on the beauty and nuance of spooning as an alternative practice for twenty- and thirty-something virgins. I'll need pictures to demonstrate the techniques, of course. I wonder if that's, like, Mormon porn. Pictures of spooning positions. Oh, I feel so edgy just thinking about it. Now to begin the process of accepting applications for suitable spoonees for said project...gosh, being the world's premier spooning expert is going to be hard work.

* Image found on Flickr