Confession: I've been relatively uninterested in Connexion (gay Facebook) lately. But I still log in to check messages or chat with a friend, and sometimes, when that happens to be around midnight, I end up among the "most viewed members" of the day for a short time because the numbers reset and those who recently logged on jump to the top. I may or may not secretly enjoy this brief moment of glory.
Confession: When I keep logging back in to check each new message, the site's "recently logged in" and "online now" categories boost profile views further, and I enjoy the experimentation of seeing how long I can stay among the "most viewed," even though due more to trickery than to the typical (non-existent, in my case) chiseled torso in a bathroom mirror.
Confession: I'm a snob. I get way more messages than I care to respond to. Not that I get a ton of messages. Maybe 1 or 2 each time I log in. Sometimes more. Sometimes none. But I don't have a lot of social energy for new connections (I'm very introverted, remember?), so I end up ignoring almost everyone who says nothing more than, "Hey whats up?" I mean, give me something to go on! Then I think about the HR people who dismiss my resume outright because I'm not great on paper and never give me the chance to plead my case in person. I think if they'd only stop being resume snobs and let me interview, I might have a fighting chance, but they just can't afford the time among hundreds of applicants. But somehow that little exercise in empathy doesn't spur me to be less stingy than them in responding.
Confession: I'm getting more messages from guys I suppose are more the age range I should be looking for. But I'm left pouting ever-so-slightly (with a smirk, of course) over apparently falling out of favor with hot 23-year-olds. Have I crossed some threshold into withered-old-faghood? Ah well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, and there are worse things in life than trying to figure out how to tell the adorable 19-year-old that it's just never going to happen. I just...might still want the narcissistic opportunity once in a while, that's all. Growing up is, like, so hard.
Confession: I'd rather be with a mature and growing guy younger than me (but not younger than 25, and even that's typically too young these days) than an immature or stagnant guy my age or older. Wait...am I stagnant? Crusty? Crap, here comes that unmanly self-doubt that supposedly helped make me gay in the first place.
Confession: I bookmarked pretty much all the local guys I figured I'd like to actually get to know in the area if I get serious about dating (and yes, they're almost all older than 25...no, seriously, they are...shut it). So now I mainly just bookmark hotties in the short stints when I browse briefly. Yep, shallowness. I own it.
Confession: Speaking of shallowness, I totally judge people by their pics. Backwards baseball cap is a strike. Shirtless bathroom mirror is another. But neither of those is so bad that someone can't recover from it: they just raise a lot of skepticism from me as to what potential there is. Multiple shots of flexing in various ways is a big strike. Posing next to a mustang wearing Ed Hardy is a huge, huge strike. "Peace" sign with puckered tough-lips in every pic just screams "I'm a tool". I'm genuinely open to someone proving me wrong or surprising me: it's just that...I don't think anyone has yet.
Confession: I know some people think it's rude not to at least reply with SOMETHING, but when I've replied with as little as possible just to not ignore, I still get a response, typically no more substantive than the first but clearly expecting continuation. And at some point, I don't have the energy to sustain all the conversations people start, much less meet everyone. So it's easier to ignore from the beginning unless they say something substantive or ask a question. I'm not at all complaining about getting too many messages. And I'm not trying to tout myself as popular (trust me, I have no illusion that I'm the hottest of items on the site). I'm just saying sue me for not responding to "nice pics," "what're you doing tonight?" or, "Where can I flick my tongue to make you moan the loudest?" Call me a snob.
Confession: I do feel a little bad sometimes about not replying, but I figure that's the way the cookie crumbles. I've been ignored, too.
Confession: I may or may not have checked my rank while writing this to see if I'm still higher than that one really hot guy and that girl: beat by a girl on Connexion's most viewed?! Oh, hay-ul no, it's on...
Showing posts with label For No Good Reason. Show all posts
Showing posts with label For No Good Reason. Show all posts
19 August 2011
02 March 2011
Bachelor Twist
I have the next twist on the oddly conservative show, The Bachelor: a gay bachelor marrying a woman. But the women can't know he's gay. In proposing this, I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone who's been through it, just like I don't watch this season in order to belittle the challenges of those on the show now. I just love an engaging social experiment.
The bachelor's reasons may be religious, social, personal, whatever, but I want to watch as he visits with a therapist, navigates the challenges of approaching marriage with a woman, etc. And during the testimonials, the women can express how impressed they are by his "respectfulness" or how confused they are by his lack of affection. Of course, it'd be refreshing to not have all the eye-rolling hot tub makeout... *cough*
Or maybe he'd be great with the physical stuff, just like a straight dude, though I'm thinking if it's gonna be that way, the producers need to impose at least a two-year makeout fast on the bachelor to make sure he's good and pent-up by the time the show shoots.
Or maybe it wouldn't be that different after all...until he tells the final 6 women about his secret, and we get to watch them deal with it. Oh man, I'd be glued.
Of course, the show's season would be about two or three times as long as usual.
Whom do I contact to get this done?
The bachelor's reasons may be religious, social, personal, whatever, but I want to watch as he visits with a therapist, navigates the challenges of approaching marriage with a woman, etc. And during the testimonials, the women can express how impressed they are by his "respectfulness" or how confused they are by his lack of affection. Of course, it'd be refreshing to not have all the eye-rolling hot tub makeout... *cough*
Or maybe he'd be great with the physical stuff, just like a straight dude, though I'm thinking if it's gonna be that way, the producers need to impose at least a two-year makeout fast on the bachelor to make sure he's good and pent-up by the time the show shoots.
Or maybe it wouldn't be that different after all...until he tells the final 6 women about his secret, and we get to watch them deal with it. Oh man, I'd be glued.
Of course, the show's season would be about two or three times as long as usual.
Whom do I contact to get this done?
Yes, please
Speaking of crushes on Henry Cavill, he's slated to be Superman in the next iteration. I think I approve.
24 February 2011
Your mom's Wii
I laugh at the occasional "your mom" joke (I've typically found most of them pretty distasteful or disrespectful, but some of them are good-natured), and I appreciate some clever or downright saucy Wii references and innuendo. But my mom owns a Wii, which was borrowed tonight by a friend, and when my brain "goes there" and--seemingly against my own will--combines a "your mom" joke with a "Wii" reference in relation to my friends, the awkwardness makes me want to curl into a ball and rock myself with eyes tightly shut while repeating some comforting phrase over and over, and all things innuendoish are not my friends until I'm able to recover. And if you know my propensity for innuendo, you know that's saying something.
Maybe it's disrespectful of me to even mention it, but...I think my point in bringing it up is that while I don't believe there's generally any truly productive reason to broadcast "ew"-inducing thoughts, pretending they don't exist or keeping them a secret not only gives them power but also leaves good people thinking they're sick and twisted and shameful for having them on occasion. I've had what I think have been productive and healthy discussions with people whom you might never suspect of having thought or done certain things, who thought they were the only ones until we laughed about it together and shrugged at human oddity. I've been surprised to see how relieved they seem when they find out someone else who's not a crazy or a total deviant relates, and we can acknowledge it without giving it any prominence or glorifying it, and it almost paradoxically dissolves its influence or power.
Of course, maybe I am sick and twisted, but at least I shake such thoughts off and say to my brain, "Whoa! Ew! Not funny, just wrong!" Then I make the necessary "blblblblblblblechblechblech" noise. Sometimes I wish Family Guy and South Park writers would tell themselves that. No such luck. My opinion of those shows, you ask? My response: "Hated it!".
OK, so I've laughed at Family Guy a couple of times.
I'm so glad I have this intimate, judgment-free forum in which to make such odd confessions. Thank you for 'listening'. I will have to balance this with some constructive, uplifting, meaningful post. ...Sometime. Not now. I'm more in the mood for something brainless to help me unwind, like playing with my Wii...
Maybe it's disrespectful of me to even mention it, but...I think my point in bringing it up is that while I don't believe there's generally any truly productive reason to broadcast "ew"-inducing thoughts, pretending they don't exist or keeping them a secret not only gives them power but also leaves good people thinking they're sick and twisted and shameful for having them on occasion. I've had what I think have been productive and healthy discussions with people whom you might never suspect of having thought or done certain things, who thought they were the only ones until we laughed about it together and shrugged at human oddity. I've been surprised to see how relieved they seem when they find out someone else who's not a crazy or a total deviant relates, and we can acknowledge it without giving it any prominence or glorifying it, and it almost paradoxically dissolves its influence or power.
Of course, maybe I am sick and twisted, but at least I shake such thoughts off and say to my brain, "Whoa! Ew! Not funny, just wrong!" Then I make the necessary "blblblblblblblechblechblech" noise. Sometimes I wish Family Guy and South Park writers would tell themselves that. No such luck. My opinion of those shows, you ask? My response: "Hated it!".
OK, so I've laughed at Family Guy a couple of times.
I'm so glad I have this intimate, judgment-free forum in which to make such odd confessions. Thank you for 'listening'. I will have to balance this with some constructive, uplifting, meaningful post. ...Sometime. Not now. I'm more in the mood for something brainless to help me unwind, like playing with my Wii...
02 February 2011
Wicked Tease
A friend sent me a link to an article quoting James Franco as saying, presumably in his cheeky Franco way, "Maybe I'm gay."
James, don't tease. You're already my primary celeb crush, and the only male celebrity I really want to have dinner conversation with. I'm sad I missed you at Sundance Film Festival, but I'm getting over it. Regardless, the following video makes me feel all happy inside and reminds me of something I posted once:
James, don't tease. You're already my primary celeb crush, and the only male celebrity I really want to have dinner conversation with. I'm sad I missed you at Sundance Film Festival, but I'm getting over it. Regardless, the following video makes me feel all happy inside and reminds me of something I posted once:
27 January 2011
Match Schmatch
Ha ha, officially--and now quantifiably--hopeless. These matching percentage breakdowns of me and a few attractive gay male users on OKCupid (none of which live in Utah) with whom I have an overall match of 96% or up are examples of why I honestly question whether I'll ever really find a match where there's enough mutual attraction and the whole God thing won't be a deal-killer, and why I'm focusing on being happy and content as a single man. *big gay sigh*
You match...
- 76% on Ethics questions
- 91% on Sex questions
- 48% on Religion questions
- 84% on Lifestyle questions
- 88% on Dating questions
- 91% on Other questions
You match...
- 87% on Ethics questions
- 91% on Sex questions
- 27% on Religion questions
- 91% on Lifestyle questions
- 78% on Dating questions
- 87% on Other questions
You match...
- 69% on Ethics questions
- 87% on Sex questions
- 9% on Religion questions
- 95% on Lifestyle questions
- 80% on Dating questions
- 87% on Other questions
09 December 2010
Hard to get
Some of you have requested to add Original Mohomie as a friend on Facebook. I'll share with you my textual conversation with someone who shall go unnamed regarding O-Mo's presence on Facebook:
*shrug*
someone who shall go unnamed: Facebook just recommended original mohomie as a friend. Is that your way of outing everyone?So there you have it, folks. I'm not sure what I intend to do with the profile, but for now, I haven't added anyone as friends. I'm not sure why I would, to be honest, except as a way to make my blog more accessible to more people who might say, "Who is this 'Original Mohomie' my friend is friends with? Oh, he has a blog. Let me click and see what the blog is about. Oh, my..."
O-Mo: Lol, I created the account as a test for something, and I've gotten a few requests. I love that I now can look at o-mo's recommended friends for a quick and easy list of "family". I get a chuckle from it every time.
someone who shall go unnamed: I just requested his friendship. We'll see what happens.
O-Mo: Ha, I might just cave and add people, but I don't know...what for... :-)
someone who shall go unnamed: Oh so you haven't accepted any requests yet? What were you wanting to test?
O-Mo: I was going to create a page for the blog, to see if posts could be shared on Facebook...and show new posts on feeds, but then I realized people might have to be fans do [sic--should be "for"] it to work, which--let's be honest--would be a really limited audience. I abandoned it but kept the account just in case. Meh.
someone who shall go unnamed: And now you have a bunch of homos thinking o-mo is playing hard to get.
***Rest of conversation censored***
*shrug*
29 November 2010
25 November 2010
*Le Sigh*
I was thinking I'd have to buy Whatever Works and watch it over and over again not just because I really liked it (I did) but primarily because of Henry Cavill. Now I've discovered he's in The Tudors, so I may have to keep watching...if it's not saturated with gratuitous sex scenes and bloody gore. Ah, *sigh*.
Wait, on second thought, while looking for images, I've realized certain angles remind me way too much of a completely not-attractive-to-me guy I knew in college. ...and he doesn't smile much in his candid photos, which is a shame because his smile is completely disarming, and he seems like a sourpuss boringhead. Sad story. I am a fickle, fickle man. It was lovely while it lasted, Henry. It's probably for the best, though. I shall always remember the chap who smiles and doesn't remind me of that college acquaintance.
Wait, on second thought, while looking for images, I've realized certain angles remind me way too much of a completely not-attractive-to-me guy I knew in college. ...and he doesn't smile much in his candid photos, which is a shame because his smile is completely disarming, and he seems like a sourpuss boringhead. Sad story. I am a fickle, fickle man. It was lovely while it lasted, Henry. It's probably for the best, though. I shall always remember the chap who smiles and doesn't remind me of that college acquaintance.
20 October 2010
Manfast undermined
I've decided it's best for me to be single for a while, and I've been feeling good about that decision. Minimizing that distraction in my life may, I'm hoping, help me focus on what I need to: finding work, figuring out what I want from life independent of companionship over which I may or may not have much control, determining a career path, becoming financially stable again, finding community as needed, etc. Some people can do all of that and date, but for now, I see a personal need to become my own sort of monk.
But some little tyrannical part of my brain is staging a coup as it faces entering the romantic desert. The gym and streets and cafes have magically filled up with attractive guys. When I got back onto a dating site (I deleted all pics and info on my profile a few weeks ago) to check a message from a friend, I took a few minutes to look at profiles I'd previously bookmarked and thought, "Wow, there were some interesting guys in here I had forgotten about and never contacted because I was busy replying to messages from people who had contacted me. I was going to contact them when I felt ready to really start actively dating. But no, I'm not dating, so close the site and forget about it. You have bigger fish to fry." And I felt resolved and confident about letting go of the search for a while, even for a couple of years. And then an attractive, nice-looking, interesting-looking guy who shows signs of possibly being 'family' walked by. Yeah? Well, I'm not falling for it. *whimper*
Well dang, this feels a bit like back when I wasn't going to ever date guys and was going to be open to a relationship with a girl. For a long time, I've not really thought a lot about it. So there's a hot guy. Great. He's not gay, so no point in flirting, just appreciate and move on. Done. No big deal. If he seems gay, great, maybe a bit of eye contact or something, give him a boost, but I don't hook up with random guys from the gym, so admire and move on. Done. No big deal. After all, if I wanted to just have some fun with a hot guy, I have several options on that dating site who have made it pretty clear they're game, but that's not what I really want, even though part of me desperately clamors to keep itself alive.
Then the voice in my brain: "OK, so I'm not going to get emotionally wrapped up with someone, but what about just finding friends, and maybe some of those friends coming with recreational benefits? I mean, I've kinda been there before, and if both parties understood that's what it was, and you didn't have the whole conflicted Mormon thing mixed in, maybe it'd be fine. Most people live that way, right? Why impose the need to label a relationship or get emotions entangled with a little affection and fun?" Uh-huh, then I remind myself who I'm talking to, and I think of how grateful I've been that I haven't gotten caught up in that way of thinking despite nearly doing so, and I think of how great it was to be with someone who I was confident wasn't in it primarily for the physical because we were waiting until it was "right" and we had a great time together without leaning on physical stuff, and what affection we did show really felt, to me, like it was special between us, and that's what I really want sexual expression to be about for me.
The voice insists: "OK, that's what you want, but maybe there are different kinds of relationships, and it's OK to save physical expression of a special nature in the special relationships and let it be just for fun in others. Maybe it's OK to not ascribe all kinds of meaning to physical expression when you don't need to, as long as you're being safe and not risking your health." *sigh* No, I have to admit what I want and what I believe will help me build relationships worth building even if I don't necessarily see the alternative as inherently "wrong" or "evil".
Is my increased perception of attractive guys the product of facing a desert in which I won't have an outlet for flirtation and of subconsciously recognizing with dismay that I'll not be enjoying any romantic physical affection for a long, long while? Is it because I've been so disinterested in attraction with anyone else since the breakup that now that it's coming back, it feels more magnified again? Is it "temptation" whispering its dark seduction? Is it a non-warm-fuzzy truth knocking gently which I'm reticent to embrace, as I have been in the past with other concepts I eventually had to accept as true even if I chose not to live them, myself?
Do most missionaries preparing to serve have to keep reminding themselves of the purpose for locking their hearts, which works for a while, but then they see a hottie and have to shake it off all over? Ha, no wonder some of my comps were such drooling messes sometimes.
So here I am, re-training myself to acknowledge how nice and intelligent and physically attractive a guy seems but trying to train my brain not to look at anyone as a potential dating prospect and moving on with my business. This will probably be helpful if I decide I want to pursue one of those procreative companionships that are all the rage in mohodom. Maybe my manfast will lead me to a healthier, more hopeful relationship down the road, or maybe it will make me a simpering, withered, sexually repressed ball of awkward, or maybe it will ready me to have my eyes more open for attractive women. Or maybe it'll last for another few months until I meet the next irresistible prospect. Shoot, this is gonna be a challenge. Life needs challenges. Bring it.
But some little tyrannical part of my brain is staging a coup as it faces entering the romantic desert. The gym and streets and cafes have magically filled up with attractive guys. When I got back onto a dating site (I deleted all pics and info on my profile a few weeks ago) to check a message from a friend, I took a few minutes to look at profiles I'd previously bookmarked and thought, "Wow, there were some interesting guys in here I had forgotten about and never contacted because I was busy replying to messages from people who had contacted me. I was going to contact them when I felt ready to really start actively dating. But no, I'm not dating, so close the site and forget about it. You have bigger fish to fry." And I felt resolved and confident about letting go of the search for a while, even for a couple of years. And then an attractive, nice-looking, interesting-looking guy who shows signs of possibly being 'family' walked by. Yeah? Well, I'm not falling for it. *whimper*
Well dang, this feels a bit like back when I wasn't going to ever date guys and was going to be open to a relationship with a girl. For a long time, I've not really thought a lot about it. So there's a hot guy. Great. He's not gay, so no point in flirting, just appreciate and move on. Done. No big deal. If he seems gay, great, maybe a bit of eye contact or something, give him a boost, but I don't hook up with random guys from the gym, so admire and move on. Done. No big deal. After all, if I wanted to just have some fun with a hot guy, I have several options on that dating site who have made it pretty clear they're game, but that's not what I really want, even though part of me desperately clamors to keep itself alive.
Then the voice in my brain: "OK, so I'm not going to get emotionally wrapped up with someone, but what about just finding friends, and maybe some of those friends coming with recreational benefits? I mean, I've kinda been there before, and if both parties understood that's what it was, and you didn't have the whole conflicted Mormon thing mixed in, maybe it'd be fine. Most people live that way, right? Why impose the need to label a relationship or get emotions entangled with a little affection and fun?" Uh-huh, then I remind myself who I'm talking to, and I think of how grateful I've been that I haven't gotten caught up in that way of thinking despite nearly doing so, and I think of how great it was to be with someone who I was confident wasn't in it primarily for the physical because we were waiting until it was "right" and we had a great time together without leaning on physical stuff, and what affection we did show really felt, to me, like it was special between us, and that's what I really want sexual expression to be about for me.
The voice insists: "OK, that's what you want, but maybe there are different kinds of relationships, and it's OK to save physical expression of a special nature in the special relationships and let it be just for fun in others. Maybe it's OK to not ascribe all kinds of meaning to physical expression when you don't need to, as long as you're being safe and not risking your health." *sigh* No, I have to admit what I want and what I believe will help me build relationships worth building even if I don't necessarily see the alternative as inherently "wrong" or "evil".
Is my increased perception of attractive guys the product of facing a desert in which I won't have an outlet for flirtation and of subconsciously recognizing with dismay that I'll not be enjoying any romantic physical affection for a long, long while? Is it because I've been so disinterested in attraction with anyone else since the breakup that now that it's coming back, it feels more magnified again? Is it "temptation" whispering its dark seduction? Is it a non-warm-fuzzy truth knocking gently which I'm reticent to embrace, as I have been in the past with other concepts I eventually had to accept as true even if I chose not to live them, myself?
Do most missionaries preparing to serve have to keep reminding themselves of the purpose for locking their hearts, which works for a while, but then they see a hottie and have to shake it off all over? Ha, no wonder some of my comps were such drooling messes sometimes.
So here I am, re-training myself to acknowledge how nice and intelligent and physically attractive a guy seems but trying to train my brain not to look at anyone as a potential dating prospect and moving on with my business. This will probably be helpful if I decide I want to pursue one of those procreative companionships that are all the rage in mohodom. Maybe my manfast will lead me to a healthier, more hopeful relationship down the road, or maybe it will make me a simpering, withered, sexually repressed ball of awkward, or maybe it will ready me to have my eyes more open for attractive women. Or maybe it'll last for another few months until I meet the next irresistible prospect. Shoot, this is gonna be a challenge. Life needs challenges. Bring it.
24 September 2010
To Daniel
Oh yeah, I wanted to make sure I said this if it ever happened: I got the hell out of Utah.
22 July 2010
Frustratingly ambiguous server...
Speaking of adorable and hot, I was eating with some friends at a restaurant in West Yellowstone recently, and one of the hosts behind the counter caught my eye. My first impression was that he was probably cute (I hadn't had a good look) and quite possibly gay. I casually caught a glance as we were led to our table, and he caught me looking back, returning my glance with one I had a hard time interpreting. But it was OK because on closer inspection, I decided he really wasn't "my type", so it was easy to shrug it off and move on.
...Until he came to take our orders. Of course he'd be our server. One of my friends was quickly smitten, but I was more reserved. Until his personality started to come out, and he was so charming, engaging, fun, polite, easy-going...and oh, look at that smile! So cute! And oh, nice arms, too. He's not only adorable but kinda hot! How had I missed that before? ...Oh yeah, because I'm a face guy. OK, so I became a bit smitten, too, but I tried to play it casual. At one point, I decided to just throw something out there and told him he reminded me of Topher Grace, which he said he gets all the time and also gets Tobey Maguire. He had fun with it. My friends accused me of being a flirt. How dare they? I wasn't flirting. I may have been...testing a bit. OK, testing by half-flirting. But I couldn't get a clear reading from him.
From my vantage point, I could see into the kitchen in the back, and he walked by with his hand sort of dangling in a stereotypically gay way. My eyebrow went up, and I noticed him acting a bit flamboyant as he told a coworker a story, and I reported my finding to my friends, who were now wishing they'd sat where I sat. At one point, I glanced into the kitchen to see him dart a glance from inside the kitchen right to us. He totally caught me looking at him, or was it the other way around? Shoot, I couldn't tell. But if you know me, you know how much I enjoy a good puzzle, so this was fun. He seemed unfazed and carried on with the same engaging demeanor as always, stopping to banter with us here and there but never in an overtly flirty way, just really friendly and smiley. But despite the signs, my 'dar was still giving a frustratingly ambiguous reading. Shoot...now I was suspecting he was one of those straight guys who enjoys getting attention from people, even gay guys, and just rolls with it, especially if there's a good tip in it for him. At the risk of seeming like one of those creepy old single guys who flirts with anyone who's friendly, I just shrugged and enjoyed the banter.
When asked how big a dessert portion was (or something like that), he showed us with his hands how big around, and I stifled a smile as I noticed the shape he showed was, for the friend asking, perfectly framing his...eh...belt buckle area. I snagged the opportunity to pretend this was the first time I had noticed his belt (which I liked) and asked him where he got it, and he said he bought it from Express...online...OK, big ol' red flag on that one. But hey, some straight guys shop at Express, though not so much guys in Montana, but he explained he discovered Express in Texas and really liked it. So no jumping to conclusions. But going online to buy clothes from Express...when you live in Montana...hm...
By this time, straight or not, I informed my buddies I had decided I was going to leave him a note about how much fun he was and maybe leave my number "just in case" for kicks and grins. Part of the whole "vacation" experience, right? I've only left my number for a server one time, so I'm no seasoned veteran, but I figured I'd risk the awkwardness for a funny memory. Much to my dismay, he brought us the bill and informed us we could take it to the register to pay. I had no pen, no paper to leave a note on, and I couldn't exactly give the note to the cashier. I thought about asking the cashier to pass a note on, but what if I'd be putting him in an uncomfortable position? No, I was thwarted, and we didn't even get his name. Gosh, I'm such an amateur.
I may have to stop in for dessert there the next time I'm in West Yellowstone, a sucker for their secret weapon, which sure as heck ain't the fine cuisine!
...Until he came to take our orders. Of course he'd be our server. One of my friends was quickly smitten, but I was more reserved. Until his personality started to come out, and he was so charming, engaging, fun, polite, easy-going...and oh, look at that smile! So cute! And oh, nice arms, too. He's not only adorable but kinda hot! How had I missed that before? ...Oh yeah, because I'm a face guy. OK, so I became a bit smitten, too, but I tried to play it casual. At one point, I decided to just throw something out there and told him he reminded me of Topher Grace, which he said he gets all the time and also gets Tobey Maguire. He had fun with it. My friends accused me of being a flirt. How dare they? I wasn't flirting. I may have been...testing a bit. OK, testing by half-flirting. But I couldn't get a clear reading from him.
From my vantage point, I could see into the kitchen in the back, and he walked by with his hand sort of dangling in a stereotypically gay way. My eyebrow went up, and I noticed him acting a bit flamboyant as he told a coworker a story, and I reported my finding to my friends, who were now wishing they'd sat where I sat. At one point, I glanced into the kitchen to see him dart a glance from inside the kitchen right to us. He totally caught me looking at him, or was it the other way around? Shoot, I couldn't tell. But if you know me, you know how much I enjoy a good puzzle, so this was fun. He seemed unfazed and carried on with the same engaging demeanor as always, stopping to banter with us here and there but never in an overtly flirty way, just really friendly and smiley. But despite the signs, my 'dar was still giving a frustratingly ambiguous reading. Shoot...now I was suspecting he was one of those straight guys who enjoys getting attention from people, even gay guys, and just rolls with it, especially if there's a good tip in it for him. At the risk of seeming like one of those creepy old single guys who flirts with anyone who's friendly, I just shrugged and enjoyed the banter.
When asked how big a dessert portion was (or something like that), he showed us with his hands how big around, and I stifled a smile as I noticed the shape he showed was, for the friend asking, perfectly framing his...eh...belt buckle area. I snagged the opportunity to pretend this was the first time I had noticed his belt (which I liked) and asked him where he got it, and he said he bought it from Express...online...OK, big ol' red flag on that one. But hey, some straight guys shop at Express, though not so much guys in Montana, but he explained he discovered Express in Texas and really liked it. So no jumping to conclusions. But going online to buy clothes from Express...when you live in Montana...hm...
By this time, straight or not, I informed my buddies I had decided I was going to leave him a note about how much fun he was and maybe leave my number "just in case" for kicks and grins. Part of the whole "vacation" experience, right? I've only left my number for a server one time, so I'm no seasoned veteran, but I figured I'd risk the awkwardness for a funny memory. Much to my dismay, he brought us the bill and informed us we could take it to the register to pay. I had no pen, no paper to leave a note on, and I couldn't exactly give the note to the cashier. I thought about asking the cashier to pass a note on, but what if I'd be putting him in an uncomfortable position? No, I was thwarted, and we didn't even get his name. Gosh, I'm such an amateur.
I may have to stop in for dessert there the next time I'm in West Yellowstone, a sucker for their secret weapon, which sure as heck ain't the fine cuisine!
01 July 2010
Adorable and Hot
Few people pull off both adorable and hot at the same time. But Color Splash's David Bromstad just does. And he does it with such positive energy! I really enjoy his personality on the show and love a lot of his work. He seems like a fun and talented guy. I don't think we'd be a good couple (so sorry, David), but I still have a bit of a crush on the guy, not gonna lie.
Just makes you want to both pinch those cheeks and get busy...on some quality home improvement projects.
Just makes you want to both pinch those cheeks and get busy...on some quality home improvement projects.
19 June 2010
20,000 Minutes?!
I saw a chewing gum ad at the gym yesterday that claimed the average person spends 20,000 minutes of their life doing...what?
Kissing. My immediate response was to smile and think, "Aw, fun." My immediate response after that was to pout and think, "If that's true, I am woefully behind the curve." Which got me to adding it up in my head.
Let's see...there were a few pecks or dares or whatever in early grade school. That brings me up to...we'll say 10.
Let's see what I can remember about kissing in adulthood (I'll just say I can still count the number of kissing partners on one hand): probably something like 20 minutes (the first kiss), and 45, and that one for like 15 seconds (it wasn't good/right), and that one time for 15 minutes, and then 15, 30, 45, 90, 10, 30...and more I don't remember for sure. I've certainly kissed my way through some boring parts of movies...oh, there was that one 128-minute movie we maybe saw 20 minutes of... I'm pretty sure we were going for a while after the credits were over, too... *distant expression with stupid smile/wry grin* OK, I'm gonna guess it brings me to maybe 450. Oh yeah, that one night...that brings it up to...650, accounting for breaks. Hey, when "going there" (read "below the belt") is simply not an option, you can carry on the sexual tension for hours...4 1/2 hours, for example.
So with possibly a third of my life lived, a ballpark estimate might be 650 minutes. So if that silly 20,000 minutes statistic is accurate, that's 3.25% of the average "lifetime kissing" with ballpark 33% of my life lived. @#$%. BUT the vast majority of that kissing is recent, so maybe I'm catching up with the average? Nope, nope. According to my calculations, if I live to be 90, I need to be averaging 968 minutes every 3 years since my first "real" kiss, which means I'm still a solid 5 hours behind for my first 3 years. And then, if you account for probably much less kissing later in life, I have a lot of catching up to do while I'm still young and have the stamina.
So be warned, whoever ends up being my next kissing partner: I have lost time to make up for. Buy some chapstick.
Kissing. My immediate response was to smile and think, "Aw, fun." My immediate response after that was to pout and think, "If that's true, I am woefully behind the curve." Which got me to adding it up in my head.
Let's see...there were a few pecks or dares or whatever in early grade school. That brings me up to...we'll say 10.
Let's see what I can remember about kissing in adulthood (I'll just say I can still count the number of kissing partners on one hand): probably something like 20 minutes (the first kiss), and 45, and that one for like 15 seconds (it wasn't good/right), and that one time for 15 minutes, and then 15, 30, 45, 90, 10, 30...and more I don't remember for sure. I've certainly kissed my way through some boring parts of movies...oh, there was that one 128-minute movie we maybe saw 20 minutes of... I'm pretty sure we were going for a while after the credits were over, too... *distant expression with stupid smile/wry grin* OK, I'm gonna guess it brings me to maybe 450. Oh yeah, that one night...that brings it up to...650, accounting for breaks. Hey, when "going there" (read "below the belt") is simply not an option, you can carry on the sexual tension for hours...4 1/2 hours, for example.
So with possibly a third of my life lived, a ballpark estimate might be 650 minutes. So if that silly 20,000 minutes statistic is accurate, that's 3.25% of the average "lifetime kissing" with ballpark 33% of my life lived. @#$%. BUT the vast majority of that kissing is recent, so maybe I'm catching up with the average? Nope, nope. According to my calculations, if I live to be 90, I need to be averaging 968 minutes every 3 years since my first "real" kiss, which means I'm still a solid 5 hours behind for my first 3 years. And then, if you account for probably much less kissing later in life, I have a lot of catching up to do while I'm still young and have the stamina.
So be warned, whoever ends up being my next kissing partner: I have lost time to make up for. Buy some chapstick.
07 June 2010
Please, Mormon girls...
My plea to eager young LDS women: please, please stop marrying the really cute, level-headed, non-slutty gay guys in their early twenties, years before they'll admit to themselves they're gay, let alone admitting it to anyone else, and having kids with them, thereby making them not only off limits but respectably bound to stay with their families when they finally do realize their homosexuality or thereby compelling them never to admit it to themselves because they think they can't afford to even begin to question it.
I assert this world would be a better place if LDS girls learned to recognize the obviously gay dudes and stopped pursuing such sexually non-threatening prospects but instead realized what they'd be getting themselves into and recognized the young men's need to sort their crap out first and make a more self-aware and informed, mature decision about whether to marry a woman in an open, honest way. In short, I want them to grow up a bit, come to terms with their same-sex attraction in a moderate and value-based but open and honest way, and become good, stable gay guys available to me...stop being so selfish, ya homowreckers!
Sometimes it seems all the goods ones are either married or straight.
I assert this world would be a better place if LDS girls learned to recognize the obviously gay dudes and stopped pursuing such sexually non-threatening prospects but instead realized what they'd be getting themselves into and recognized the young men's need to sort their crap out first and make a more self-aware and informed, mature decision about whether to marry a woman in an open, honest way. In short, I want them to grow up a bit, come to terms with their same-sex attraction in a moderate and value-based but open and honest way, and become good, stable gay guys available to me...stop being so selfish, ya homowreckers!
Sometimes it seems all the goods ones are either married or straight.
17 May 2010
14 May 2010
Crushables Update
Two long-standing mini-crushes I've been watching a bit of lately (on SNL and Ugly Betty):
Clearly, I have a bit of a thing for cute-nerds. I think Henry Grubstick's uptight accountant personality would grate on me after a while, but I find his nerdy, honest simplicity very endearing. Seth Meyer's dimply snark on the weekend update makes me grin with delight and shake my head at how taken I am with him.
Two new mini-crushes I've just discovered in the last week on The Doctors and Dead Like Me:
The latter clearly fits into my tendency towards a certain "type" with his slightly awkward appearance and quirky personality, but the doctor kind of breaks from that. Every once in a while, I'm a bit smitten by an all american jockish type if he seems like a nice and fairly intelligent guy and has cute expressions and a pretty lean build.
This last one isn't as much a crush as a heart-rate enhancer or somewhat of a knuckle-biter, primarily because of the only context I've seen him in, but I would probably look twice if I saw him walking down the street, unless he seemed cocky, in which case I'd roll my eyes and move on because I do that. Regardless, I certainly keep watching the same 4 1/2 minutes with guilty relish:
Happy Friday! I'm off to enjoy the sun and fresh air!
Clearly, I have a bit of a thing for cute-nerds. I think Henry Grubstick's uptight accountant personality would grate on me after a while, but I find his nerdy, honest simplicity very endearing. Seth Meyer's dimply snark on the weekend update makes me grin with delight and shake my head at how taken I am with him.
Two new mini-crushes I've just discovered in the last week on The Doctors and Dead Like Me:
The latter clearly fits into my tendency towards a certain "type" with his slightly awkward appearance and quirky personality, but the doctor kind of breaks from that. Every once in a while, I'm a bit smitten by an all american jockish type if he seems like a nice and fairly intelligent guy and has cute expressions and a pretty lean build.
This last one isn't as much a crush as a heart-rate enhancer or somewhat of a knuckle-biter, primarily because of the only context I've seen him in, but I would probably look twice if I saw him walking down the street, unless he seemed cocky, in which case I'd roll my eyes and move on because I do that. Regardless, I certainly keep watching the same 4 1/2 minutes with guilty relish:
Happy Friday! I'm off to enjoy the sun and fresh air!
29 April 2010
Show Me Your...Guiltiest Pleasure Ever
I hung out with a couple of friends tonight, and somehow I was reminded of a certain "unofficial" music video made to a dentistry-dedicated song by a fame-crazed, formerly jazzy, low-key singer-songwriter turned psycho-fashion pop idol. I mentioned it, but they hadn't seen it, and was going to show them the video, but I decided against it. It's just too much, too provocative, too in-your-face sinfulicious... I'm not one to deny I have passion, but I'm also trying to keep conversations constructive and the media I absorb more enriching and enlightening than base and vulgar. But sometimes, I am such a "natural man".
For those of you not familiar with this video, we're talking in-your-face, over-the-top gayness between two really hot guys. If you described the video to me, I'd scoff and say it sounded ridiculous. It's a trashy, cheesy display of vampire debauchery. ...A trashy, cheesy display of vampire debauchery that gets me all hot and bothered, biting either my lip or my knuckle uncontrollably until it's over and I'm released from it's hypnotic, heart-pounding grasp, and I wipe the trickle of sweat from my forehead. OK, so maybe it's not that intense, but I mean, get me a whip right now if that's what's tied up on the other end. No, wait, that's not my style. ...is it? *tense whimper* *wicked grin* *shrug*
Guiltiest pleasure ever. Shameful. Putting aside my hot vampire would be a true test of my resolve to focus on things which are uplifting and meaningful...maybe I'll just watch it one more time before deciding...oh, those eyes...nope, I'm not ready to put it aside quite yet. Maybe tomorrow.
For those of you not familiar with this video, we're talking in-your-face, over-the-top gayness between two really hot guys. If you described the video to me, I'd scoff and say it sounded ridiculous. It's a trashy, cheesy display of vampire debauchery. ...A trashy, cheesy display of vampire debauchery that gets me all hot and bothered, biting either my lip or my knuckle uncontrollably until it's over and I'm released from it's hypnotic, heart-pounding grasp, and I wipe the trickle of sweat from my forehead. OK, so maybe it's not that intense, but I mean, get me a whip right now if that's what's tied up on the other end. No, wait, that's not my style. ...is it? *tense whimper* *wicked grin* *shrug*
Guiltiest pleasure ever. Shameful. Putting aside my hot vampire would be a true test of my resolve to focus on things which are uplifting and meaningful...maybe I'll just watch it one more time before deciding...oh, those eyes...nope, I'm not ready to put it aside quite yet. Maybe tomorrow.
26 April 2010
"Hey dude"
Dang it! I don't necessarily get a ton of messages on this site that's basically a gay Facebook, but I get enough that I'd rather focus on the ones from those who actually mention something specific from my profile or a common interest because that shows they at least looked beyond some picture or the fact that I'm a living, breathing male in deciding whether to message me and because that offers something to start a conversation from, which is in line with why I have a profile in the first place, not just flirtation and random dating.
So a request to those hotties on there who would, for whatever reason, message me: Please say something substantive or intelligent, or at least something you couldn't say to any and every bloke on the site. Please?
Incidentally, on an only loosely related note, I gotta be honest: I have a theory that there's a correlation between someone's ability to converse with people on a personalized, adaptive level and their ability to be physically intimate with people on a personalized, adaptive level. Unfortunately, this is not a theory I'm willing to test in a proper scientific way.
Anyway, I really would rather not want to ignore you because all you could muster was "hey dude", because you look like a nice guy, not to mention way cute. I mean, I've replied to those when I knew we had a connection of some sort worth bringing up, but I don't think I can bring myself to make an exception just because I think you're totally tappable (upon initial, shallow inspection) or because you have a pic with one of my celebrity crushes. ...but I might be able to because you're closer to my age and your tastes aren't uber campy and crappy pop-culture like so many other guys on the site. Shoot, I'm going to make an exception for you, aren't I? Dammit! So much for principles...
...don't even ask about the physically attractive guy I thought seemed full of himself and therefore tested his ability to take things in stride, which he really failed on a couple of levels and only confirmed my suspicions, which were admittedly strong, and I probably wasn't completely fair to him, but come on: all he can say in his "About Me" is "Probably not interested!"? Self-flattering much? Seriously, folks. Take your diva somewhere else; homey don't play that. I almost feel bad for not giving him much of a chance, especially since I admit my impressions could be totally off and he might be a really good, non-self-absorbed guy...but not enough to lose sleep over it.
I sound like a total biotch, don't I? I promise I'm not "picky" because I think I'm better than others but because I'm not there for a hot date or fooling around and because there are some games I just won't play, some scenes and immature levels of social interaction I'm just not interested in. Honestly, the guys I've most enjoyed my conversations with are often guys I don't find particularly attractive or who aren't "my type", so it's not that I'm not giving people a chance, here. It's just that I'm kind of over the whole, "Oh my gosh he's so cute and just talked to me I'm so flattered and want to flirt to see if he'll flirt with me so I can stroke my own ego and engage in lots of shallow interactions to prove how young and attractive I am and how well I can wield my sexuality to get some hot action to satisfy my need for physical intimacy as if it's worth the risks to use it to fill in for a lack of emotional intimacy within a quality relationship..." OK, so I do still relapse into that sometimes before catching and stopping myself. What can I say? I'm genetically flawed, AKA a human male.
...but seriously, guys, you gotta show more personal interest than "what's up?"
So a request to those hotties on there who would, for whatever reason, message me: Please say something substantive or intelligent, or at least something you couldn't say to any and every bloke on the site. Please?
Incidentally, on an only loosely related note, I gotta be honest: I have a theory that there's a correlation between someone's ability to converse with people on a personalized, adaptive level and their ability to be physically intimate with people on a personalized, adaptive level. Unfortunately, this is not a theory I'm willing to test in a proper scientific way.
Anyway, I really would rather not want to ignore you because all you could muster was "hey dude", because you look like a nice guy, not to mention way cute. I mean, I've replied to those when I knew we had a connection of some sort worth bringing up, but I don't think I can bring myself to make an exception just because I think you're totally tappable (upon initial, shallow inspection) or because you have a pic with one of my celebrity crushes. ...but I might be able to because you're closer to my age and your tastes aren't uber campy and crappy pop-culture like so many other guys on the site. Shoot, I'm going to make an exception for you, aren't I? Dammit! So much for principles...
...don't even ask about the physically attractive guy I thought seemed full of himself and therefore tested his ability to take things in stride, which he really failed on a couple of levels and only confirmed my suspicions, which were admittedly strong, and I probably wasn't completely fair to him, but come on: all he can say in his "About Me" is "Probably not interested!"? Self-flattering much? Seriously, folks. Take your diva somewhere else; homey don't play that. I almost feel bad for not giving him much of a chance, especially since I admit my impressions could be totally off and he might be a really good, non-self-absorbed guy...but not enough to lose sleep over it.
I sound like a total biotch, don't I? I promise I'm not "picky" because I think I'm better than others but because I'm not there for a hot date or fooling around and because there are some games I just won't play, some scenes and immature levels of social interaction I'm just not interested in. Honestly, the guys I've most enjoyed my conversations with are often guys I don't find particularly attractive or who aren't "my type", so it's not that I'm not giving people a chance, here. It's just that I'm kind of over the whole, "Oh my gosh he's so cute and just talked to me I'm so flattered and want to flirt to see if he'll flirt with me so I can stroke my own ego and engage in lots of shallow interactions to prove how young and attractive I am and how well I can wield my sexuality to get some hot action to satisfy my need for physical intimacy as if it's worth the risks to use it to fill in for a lack of emotional intimacy within a quality relationship..." OK, so I do still relapse into that sometimes before catching and stopping myself. What can I say? I'm genetically flawed, AKA a human male.
...but seriously, guys, you gotta show more personal interest than "what's up?"
29 March 2010
Getting Connexted
Alright, if I were wanting to date, this whole online social network thing might not be such a terrible thing after all. As it turns out, I've already made a couple of interesting connections, run into a couple of friends I didn't know were on there, and even ran into someone I knew a while back but didn't know was gay. Aside from messages from friends, I've received close to 50 messages from fellows kind enough to welcome me to the community. Isn't that sweet? One even asked me if I'd like to have my...eh, nevermind. Let's just say it was a 'generous' offer I ignored with severe disgust and blocked that user from ever contacting me again. Probably 30 or so of the messages consist of little more than, "what's up?" or "how's it going?" or some variation, leading me to believe they aren't exactly taking a 'personal' approach. Some said, "like the profile!" or, "hey, handsome!" or something like it. Flattery will get you nowhere. ...Usually. Only 10 or fewer actually mentioned specifics from my profile. A few asked specific questions. I've replied to most or all of the messages in these latter two categories. Some have responded back, some haven't. Maybe I wasn't interesting or flirty enough. I'm OK weeding some out that way. If we don't click, or they were looking for something more along the lines of, "I'll show you what's up," then it's best to just move on.
I've carried on a dialog with just a few of them. They're mostly cute, not gonna lie, but it's all in good, clean fun, and they actually had something to say besides "what's up?" Some of the conversations have fizzled out, others are carrying on incidentally. No conversation has led to meeting up, and I don't really plan for any to, unless it's with mutual friends. Although I must admit, there's the occasional one with whom I don't necessarily have main interests in common, but our conversation has been fun and engaging, and he's ridiculously spoon-worthy, and I'm trying to keep my motives in check because part of me wants to cut to the chase and just make out already. No, I wouldn't do that, even if I thought that's what he wanted. It's not what I want. Dammit. Stupid principles. (Note for those of you who will read this as me being all "angsty": I'm kidding--it's totally my choice to follow my principles, and while I'm mildly conflicted between wanting something and wanting something else more or believing something that keeps me from doing what part of me wants, I think being conflicted is a sign of healthy...oh, forget it, call me angsty if it makes you feel better about life.) I can definitely see how guys get themselves in 'trouble' on sites like this, but there are guys on there who seem genuinely interested in getting to know people in the non-carnal sense, though obviously some guys who seem that way at first later reveal through their actions or words that they're jonesin' like nobody's business.
I also discovered adding pictures multiplies your profile views by MANY times, and I thought that reflected the shallowness of people on the site until I remembered how few pictureless profiles I checked and how when you're browsing, the ONLY initial information you get is a name and a pic, so it's a big factor. It's a little unnerving to see that my profile was viewed nearly 200 times the day after I posted pictures. I felt so...exposed. I had a brief moment of self-flattery when I saw I was the 5th most viewed profile at the end of that day, but I quickly reminded myself of the many factors that came together to create my one, brief moment of glory: new member, newly posted photos, added friends around the country, and had been logging in repeatedly all day to check the messages I was getting. Then I saw a really homely guy in the top 10 because he was new, too, and I was sufficiently humbled. :-)
I was also interested in the ages of guys contacting me because there are apparently some guys in my age range:
One problem: now that I've conducted my experiment and am running out of results and have explored but don't intend to start dating, I may be getting a bit bored with this site. I'll always have Facebook...
Addendum: OK, so one conversation has just led to possibly meeting up briefly. Another experiment. Here's to hoping he's not a pscyho-stalker rapist or a *gasp* woman...
...don't worry, I'm not naive. I'll only meet someone in a public, neutral place. ...I mean, except when I'm meeting certain bloggers who invite me to their homes...alone. ...I wore my chastity belt just in case.
I've carried on a dialog with just a few of them. They're mostly cute, not gonna lie, but it's all in good, clean fun, and they actually had something to say besides "what's up?" Some of the conversations have fizzled out, others are carrying on incidentally. No conversation has led to meeting up, and I don't really plan for any to, unless it's with mutual friends. Although I must admit, there's the occasional one with whom I don't necessarily have main interests in common, but our conversation has been fun and engaging, and he's ridiculously spoon-worthy, and I'm trying to keep my motives in check because part of me wants to cut to the chase and just make out already. No, I wouldn't do that, even if I thought that's what he wanted. It's not what I want. Dammit. Stupid principles. (Note for those of you who will read this as me being all "angsty": I'm kidding--it's totally my choice to follow my principles, and while I'm mildly conflicted between wanting something and wanting something else more or believing something that keeps me from doing what part of me wants, I think being conflicted is a sign of healthy...oh, forget it, call me angsty if it makes you feel better about life.) I can definitely see how guys get themselves in 'trouble' on sites like this, but there are guys on there who seem genuinely interested in getting to know people in the non-carnal sense, though obviously some guys who seem that way at first later reveal through their actions or words that they're jonesin' like nobody's business.
I also discovered adding pictures multiplies your profile views by MANY times, and I thought that reflected the shallowness of people on the site until I remembered how few pictureless profiles I checked and how when you're browsing, the ONLY initial information you get is a name and a pic, so it's a big factor. It's a little unnerving to see that my profile was viewed nearly 200 times the day after I posted pictures. I felt so...exposed. I had a brief moment of self-flattery when I saw I was the 5th most viewed profile at the end of that day, but I quickly reminded myself of the many factors that came together to create my one, brief moment of glory: new member, newly posted photos, added friends around the country, and had been logging in repeatedly all day to check the messages I was getting. Then I saw a really homely guy in the top 10 because he was new, too, and I was sufficiently humbled. :-)
I was also interested in the ages of guys contacting me because there are apparently some guys in my age range:
- 19-23: 11
- 24-27: 10
- 28-31: 14
- 32-35: 9
- 37 and older: 4
One problem: now that I've conducted my experiment and am running out of results and have explored but don't intend to start dating, I may be getting a bit bored with this site. I'll always have Facebook...
Addendum: OK, so one conversation has just led to possibly meeting up briefly. Another experiment. Here's to hoping he's not a pscyho-stalker rapist or a *gasp* woman...
...don't worry, I'm not naive. I'll only meet someone in a public, neutral place. ...I mean, except when I'm meeting certain bloggers who invite me to their homes...alone. ...I wore my chastity belt just in case.
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