02 March 2011

Bachelor Twist

I have the next twist on the oddly conservative show, The Bachelor: a gay bachelor marrying a woman. But the women can't know he's gay. In proposing this, I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone who's been through it, just like I don't watch this season in order to belittle the challenges of those on the show now. I just love an engaging social experiment.
The bachelor's reasons may be religious, social, personal, whatever, but I want to watch as he visits with a therapist, navigates the challenges of approaching marriage with a woman, etc. And during the testimonials, the women can express how impressed they are by his "respectfulness" or how confused they are by his lack of affection. Of course, it'd be refreshing to not have all the eye-rolling hot tub makeout... *cough*

Or maybe he'd be great with the physical stuff, just like a straight dude, though I'm thinking if it's gonna be that way, the producers need to impose at least a two-year makeout fast on the bachelor to make sure he's good and pent-up by the time the show shoots.

Or maybe it wouldn't be that different after all...until he tells the final 6 women about his secret, and we get to watch them deal with it. Oh man, I'd be glued.

Of course, the show's season would be about two or three times as long as usual.

Whom do I contact to get this done?


Bravone said...

I'm not convinced the current bachelor isn't "family." He did confess having a "distant" father with whom he has no current relationship, and... he did walk away from all the women the last time he was on.

I must admit this show is a family guilty indulgence. We love to watch and, in our own warped way, mock some of the drama that goes on. The happiest moment this season was when he sent the wench from Salt Lake City home. We all shouted for joy and I chanted "ding dong, the bit*! is gone!" My son chastised me a bit, but I told him I only profane when it is appropriate, and it was definitely appropriate in this case.

How about you volunteer to be the gay bachelor? You may end up enjoying those hot tub moments beneath the bubbling waters. :)

Lee said...

The current model is an exercise in shallow, meaningless relationships. The bachelors are rich, good-looking, charming, narccisistic, selfish, disrespectful jerks who have mastered the art of outward sincerity in order to prey on needy women who, if they had any scintilla of self-respect, would never appear on that show to be humiliated, debased, and used to fulfill the egotistical and sexual appetites of gold-plated A-holes.

It might be refreshing to see sensitive, respectful, sincere gay men treat women like human beings who have something to offer other than a vagina.

Original Mohomie said...

Bravone, it's OK. This is a safe place to admit your shame. Oh, and I've known a girl or two with traits or behaviors which reminded me a bit of the SLC gal (though she was on another level, for sure), so I had a slightly different take on her, seeing past her 'strong' personality and manipulation to what I think may have been insecurities of a woman who "just wants to be loved, is that so wrong?" Ha, but I was relieved when he let her go, too, because I didn't think they'd make a good long-term match. I think he was fascinated by her, and she's hot, let's be honest, but I think she needs a man who can either match her or bring out the tame in her. :-) ...I mean, I would think so...if I were watching that awful show... *blankly innocent expression*

As for being the gay bachelor roping me a woman, no thanks, on so many levels. :-)

Lee, ha, that's a strong opinion, and I know people who think the same...most of whom have never really watched more than an episode or two. I think it's more "real" than people are comfortable admitting, even though the situation is contrived (maybe a bit like the bonding that happens on certain emotionally intense but contrived 'experiential learning' weekends *cough* *cough* *wink*). I think that's why people watch it: they see so much of their own emotions and drama in it, fascinated to see it all played out in a more intense, direct way. Ah, the joys of social experiments.

Well, that and the drama of the mind games between the women or ape-like posturing between the men, the train wreck of watching the bachelor or bachelorette (it's an equal opportunity meat market show) almost pick the bad seed, or the fun of taking bets on who will be offered the final rose...and wishing upon a star to offer such a rose one day... *shaking head vigorously while snapping out of it* Just a theory, though. ;-)

As for women being treated better by gay men, I think you have a common, understandable, romanticized notion of what it's like for a woman to date a gay guy. :-)

Lee said...

If "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are "real", all male/female relationships are doomed!!

I always wanted men to relate to me on other than a physical level, but alas, I always found myself defending against my dates' biological urges. I suppose that's true of gay guys as well, but not where women are concerned, so therein lies a woman's comfort level in dating gay guys :) I'm just grateful for the guy I married. He's a nice mix :)