But I think it will more likely get better if:
- you don't wait around for everything around you to change and magically "get better"
- you really work at emotional authenticity, honesty, and integrity
- you learn to separate true criticism from blind bigotry
- you talk with someone who can help you sort through things
- you are honest about who you are, starting with being honest to yourself, then to others with care
- you remove yourself, when possible and with good judgment, from abusive situations
- you refuse to be a victim of circumstance and start planning your response to your situation
- you carefully seek others who understand and have more than their own self interest in mind
- you figure out your options and prepare to choose
- you remind yourself that you have no idea what ten years from now will bring, and 50 years of happiness will be worth a few years of difficulty
- you consider your situation to be a challenge rather than an oppression
- you find the right medications to balance your chemical levels and bring you to a more optimal level of functioning
- you avoid enslaving your judgment and cognitive abilities to addictive substances
- you avoid enslaving your emotional fulfillment and stability to addictive or abusive behaviors
- you remember that there is so much more that makes you who you are, and foster the parts that make you feel productive and strong
- you take time to meditate, ponder, pray, or otherwise focus both inward and on something greater than yourself of which you are a part
- you keep in mind that you are not truly alone, even if you haven't yet found those who understand
- you make an effort to help others in their need, since you are not the only one struggling with something
- you don't push away all unpleasant conversations or questions out of fear of having to face something
- you work on recognizing that you are just as worthy of love and understanding as anyone
- you let people compliment you and consider and take in their feedback at least as much as the douchebag who doesn't actually know you
- you forgive others and know you are worthy of forgiveness
- you just hang in there long enough to let some of this stuff work out, even if it takes years.
Meanwhile, those of us in more stable, secure places will do our part to change the environment for you. We will reach out to build understanding both ways. We will watch for people struggling like you are. We will work to give you a better playing field in which to work through whatever you need to work through. We will listen. We will offer our ears and shoulders at times. But it will take time, we might not yet know how to change your environment, and we may not have time and strength to personally reach out to every one. We're working on it, but in the meantime, until the world is a safer, more understanding place for you to work through whatever you're working through, or until you find someone else who clearly 'gets it' better than I do and can offer you hope in a way I can't despite wishing I knew how, the one with the most power for you is you.
It will probably get better, but you'll make it much more likely to get better if you work at making it better. And I attest that it's worth the effort. I don't know you, I don't know every aspect of what you're going through, and I have different brain function, chemistry, family life, life experience, social placement, religious background, personality, and coping mechanisms than you do. But I hope something here is helpful, and I do think you can make it better by working at it if you can find the strength to just begin to do so, to begin to trust that it could conceivably get better even if you can't see how right now. Hang in there.