29 March 2010

Getting Connexted

Alright, if I were wanting to date, this whole online social network thing might not be such a terrible thing after all. As it turns out, I've already made a couple of interesting connections, run into a couple of friends I didn't know were on there, and even ran into someone I knew a while back but didn't know was gay. Aside from messages from friends, I've received close to 50 messages from fellows kind enough to welcome me to the community. Isn't that sweet? One even asked me if I'd like to have my...eh, nevermind. Let's just say it was a 'generous' offer I ignored with severe disgust and blocked that user from ever contacting me again. Probably 30 or so of the messages consist of little more than, "what's up?" or "how's it going?" or some variation, leading me to believe they aren't exactly taking a 'personal' approach. Some said, "like the profile!" or, "hey, handsome!" or something like it. Flattery will get you nowhere. ...Usually. Only 10 or fewer actually mentioned specifics from my profile. A few asked specific questions. I've replied to most or all of the messages in these latter two categories. Some have responded back, some haven't. Maybe I wasn't interesting or flirty enough. I'm OK weeding some out that way. If we don't click, or they were looking for something more along the lines of, "I'll show you what's up," then it's best to just move on.

I've carried on a dialog with just a few of them. They're mostly cute, not gonna lie, but it's all in good, clean fun, and they actually had something to say besides "what's up?" Some of the conversations have fizzled out, others are carrying on incidentally. No conversation has led to meeting up, and I don't really plan for any to, unless it's with mutual friends. Although I must admit, there's the occasional one with whom I don't necessarily have main interests in common, but our conversation has been fun and engaging, and he's ridiculously spoon-worthy, and I'm trying to keep my motives in check because part of me wants to cut to the chase and just make out already. No, I wouldn't do that, even if I thought that's what he wanted. It's not what I want. Dammit. Stupid principles. (Note for those of you who will read this as me being all "angsty": I'm kidding--it's totally my choice to follow my principles, and while I'm mildly conflicted between wanting something and wanting something else more or believing something that keeps me from doing what part of me wants, I think being conflicted is a sign of healthy...oh, forget it, call me angsty if it makes you feel better about life.) I can definitely see how guys get themselves in 'trouble' on sites like this, but there are guys on there who seem genuinely interested in getting to know people in the non-carnal sense, though obviously some guys who seem that way at first later reveal through their actions or words that they're jonesin' like nobody's business.

I also discovered adding pictures multiplies your profile views by MANY times, and I thought that reflected the shallowness of people on the site until I remembered how few pictureless profiles I checked and how when you're browsing, the ONLY initial information you get is a name and a pic, so it's a big factor. It's a little unnerving to see that my profile was viewed nearly 200 times the day after I posted pictures. I felt so...exposed. I had a brief moment of self-flattery when I saw I was the 5th most viewed profile at the end of that day, but I quickly reminded myself of the many factors that came together to create my one, brief moment of glory: new member, newly posted photos, added friends around the country, and had been logging in repeatedly all day to check the messages I was getting. Then I saw a really homely guy in the top 10 because he was new, too, and I was sufficiently humbled. :-)

I was also interested in the ages of guys contacting me because there are apparently some guys in my age range:
  • 19-23: 11
  • 24-27: 10
  • 28-31: 14
  • 32-35: 9
  • 37 and older: 4


One problem: now that I've conducted my experiment and am running out of results and have explored but don't intend to start dating, I may be getting a bit bored with this site. I'll always have Facebook...



Addendum: OK, so one conversation has just led to possibly meeting up briefly. Another experiment. Here's to hoping he's not a pscyho-stalker rapist or a *gasp* woman...

...don't worry, I'm not naive. I'll only meet someone in a public, neutral place. ...I mean, except when I'm meeting certain bloggers who invite me to their homes...alone. ...I wore my chastity belt just in case.

5 comments:

Jon said...

And that chastity belt was a bugger to get off...

Original Mohomie said...

Hey, I at least put up a struggle. I'm a pro at "struggling". And let's face it, you like your men like you like your fishing: the fun begins with a bite and a tug, and the fight is half the...oh my gosh! Where is my mind today?!

What do agnostics sing to clear their thoughts?

Jon said...

Something pagan probably. Aren't agnostics like athiests? ;)

Original Mohomie said...

*stern glare*

...and believe it or not, that was the "cleanest" of the replies I came up with. There were just too many plays on words and naughty places to go with that comment. But I bit my tongue...or fingers...

boskers said...

You two need to just get a room already.

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Hmm.. connexion.. i'll probably be making a real account once im away from byu.