22 January 2013

Cougar Bait?


Me from behind the Egyptian Theater beverages/concessions counter in Park City for Sundance Film Festival: "How's it going?"

Thin, good-looking blonde lady in her maybe forties or fifties with a somewhat wry grin: "Better now."

Me not asking what makes "now" better because I'm afraid I'll be caught off-guard and unable to follow up if the answer is as flirtatious as it seems it might be: "Good!  What can I get for you?"

Lady alternately exploring the snacks and looking me intensely in the eye: "Hm...oh M&Ms, but none with peanuts?"

Me, confused that she seems to saying this as if it's some kind of innuendo but enjoying the ambiguity of her enthusiasm and intrigued by her demeanor: "Ha, none with peanuts, unfortunately.  Just plain."

Lady making a swift choice: "I think I'll have this chocolate bar with almonds."

Me, relieved that she didn't follow it up with something like "I like nuts" but kind of grinning to myself at the possibility of forwardness I am not accustomed to responding to, *cough* at least not from women: "Very nice.  That'll be just $2."

Lady, like she's playing the sassy corrective teacher in some kind of role play: "'Just' $2, you say?  You mean 'Two dollars only'?"

Me, amused and confused as to what the heck is going on: "Ha, sure, only $2, $2 is all, whatever works."

At this point, I choose to exchange my usual obliviously friendly smile for a semi-flirtatious smile for the heck of it as I hand her her change, she drops a couple of dollars in the tip bowl and smiles as she double-takes while walking away...at which point I have two thoughts: (1) does she always tip for candy bars?, and (2) even if she was making advances, my age means she was less cougar and more...just horny.

In any case, she may have just meant it was better now because she'd come in from the cold, and I got all weird, and she's now telling her friends about the concessions dude inexplicably flirting with her.  But I prefer to think of it as me getting hunted by a cougar 'cause that's just fun.

1 comment:

Keith Penrod said...

Face it. You're attractive. "Cougar bait" LOL. At least you're not jail bait.