I have a major problem with the insistence that homosexuality is never changeable. Those who say so often entrench themselves in the stance to defend themselves and others. They think that somehow, if they insist vehemently enough that they didn't choose to be this way AND they cannot possibly be any other way, then they will be more respected, more accepted, more tolerated, more legally just. They often belittle and scorn the efforts of others to find the ability to happily function in the heterosexual lifestyle they envision as being the best long-term solution for themselves. They seem somehow threatened by the fact that there are homosexual people living apparently happily lives with their opposite-sex spouses and their children. The existence of such people somehow undermines their agenda to gain credibility and acceptance in society. They seem hellbent on discrediting those who dare to challenge and defy paradigms even while decrying the closed-minded conservativism of their supposed philosophical opponents.
I also have a major problem with the insistence that homosexuality is always changeable. Many think that because they feel a diminished drive to get it on with every person of the same sex and an increased curiosity about the opposite sex, everyone else can and should become "straight" like them. My skepticism is oozing quite deliberately here. It's because many of the people I've known who are most adamant about homosexuality being changeable are also very recently "converted" and often "backslide" or later say they weren't as converted as they thought. Others stay "converted" but are expending so much energy in their lives to maintain their hetero- functionality that most people who see what they're doing would not want to live that way at all. There may be some who claim to be completely "changed" and insist they never thought they could be either, but I've observed that most of those who so proclaim are also inextricably financially and/or religiously invested in maintaining that stance. Often, their entire reputation hinges on this unquantified insistence that they have changed from homosexual to heterosexual, something nobody can prove or disprove. I am, nevertheless, disinclined to insist they're not being truthful. I believe some of them are being quite truthful.
Look at me painting the groups in broad strokes and using "they" and "their" incessantly. It just feels that way a lot of the time. Like there's not really a middle ground, and those who sound moderate only sound so until you get to know them better, and it seems like they're just putting on facades of moderation to win more people over to their hidden extreme. Boo.
What do I think, then? Is homosexuality innate and immutable? Can a person go from homosexual to heterosexual, or vice versa? I don't know, and I frankly don't care much. I'm bored with and tired of the debate. I just think change/reorientation/conversion may be possible in at least some cases. Choices are most definitely changeable. Lifestyle is undoubtedly chosen. Attractions of a sexual or romantic nature can be directed in various ways, healthy or otherwise, and may be more fluid than many of us would care to admit, given enough desire to explore that fluidity. I mean, if some people learn to "love" farm animals, I can certainly be open to giving women a fair chance in the romantic/sexual arena. *tongue firmly in cheek*