"Hey dude"

Dang it! I don't necessarily get a ton of messages on this site that's basically a gay Facebook, but I get enough that I'd rather focus on the ones from those who actually mention something specific from my profile or a common interest because that shows they at least looked beyond some picture or the fact that I'm a living, breathing male in deciding whether to message me and because that offers something to start a conversation from, which is in line with why I have a profile in the first place, not just flirtation and random dating.

So a request to those hotties on there who would, for whatever reason, message me: Please say something substantive or intelligent, or at least something you couldn't say to any and every bloke on the site. Please?

Incidentally, on an only loosely related note, I gotta be honest: I have a theory that there's a correlation between someone's ability to converse with people on a personalized, adaptive level and their ability to be physically intimate with people on a personalized, adaptive level. Unfortunately, this is not a theory I'm willing to test in a proper scientific way.

Anyway, I really would rather not want to ignore you because all you could muster was "hey dude", because you look like a nice guy, not to mention way cute. I mean, I've replied to those when I knew we had a connection of some sort worth bringing up, but I don't think I can bring myself to make an exception just because I think you're totally tappable (upon initial, shallow inspection) or because you have a pic with one of my celebrity crushes. ...but I might be able to because you're closer to my age and your tastes aren't uber campy and crappy pop-culture like so many other guys on the site. Shoot, I'm going to make an exception for you, aren't I? Dammit! So much for principles...

...don't even ask about the physically attractive guy I thought seemed full of himself and therefore tested his ability to take things in stride, which he really failed on a couple of levels and only confirmed my suspicions, which were admittedly strong, and I probably wasn't completely fair to him, but come on: all he can say in his "About Me" is "Probably not interested!"? Self-flattering much? Seriously, folks. Take your diva somewhere else; homey don't play that. I almost feel bad for not giving him much of a chance, especially since I admit my impressions could be totally off and he might be a really good, non-self-absorbed guy...but not enough to lose sleep over it.

I sound like a total biotch, don't I? I promise I'm not "picky" because I think I'm better than others but because I'm not there for a hot date or fooling around and because there are some games I just won't play, some scenes and immature levels of social interaction I'm just not interested in. Honestly, the guys I've most enjoyed my conversations with are often guys I don't find particularly attractive or who aren't "my type", so it's not that I'm not giving people a chance, here. It's just that I'm kind of over the whole, "Oh my gosh he's so cute and just talked to me I'm so flattered and want to flirt to see if he'll flirt with me so I can stroke my own ego and engage in lots of shallow interactions to prove how young and attractive I am and how well I can wield my sexuality to get some hot action to satisfy my need for physical intimacy as if it's worth the risks to use it to fill in for a lack of emotional intimacy within a quality relationship..." OK, so I do still relapse into that sometimes before catching and stopping myself. What can I say? I'm genetically flawed, AKA a human male.

...but seriously, guys, you gotta show more personal interest than "what's up?"