29 August 2007

Office Store Boy Breaks My Heart

It was just another post-workout grocery store run to nab a few needed items for my pantry. I casually wove through the aisles seeking some cereal here, bread there, bananas over there...and on my way to the juice, what I saw initially made my little moho heart skip with homo surprise. Was it? Yes! It was office store boy! He looked just as cute in his western-style snap-up shirt as he did in his store uniform. OK, moreso. I laughed to myself at the strange little tricks life seems to play, seeing him there on this night when I just went to the grocery store on my way home as an afterthought.

But wait...who was that beside him? No, no this was not possible. Just a friend, I told myself. But no, they were walking a bit close to be friends. Definitely too close. Maybe close friends. No, this couldn't be. But my poor little moho heart sank as it became painfully obvious: he was shopping with a girl with long, silky brown hair who was definitely NOT just a friend and certainly didn't look like a sibling. Ouch. Not only was he taken, but he was taken by a girl.

After a second or two of pure disappointment and mourning, I laughed to myself at the beautiful trick life had played on me and so quickly thrown out there just to say, "Gotcha!" Yeah, good one, life. I'll give it to ya.

I can't deny I had some fun afterthoughts, like, "Well, you're going to the store he works at again tomorrow anyway, so maybe you could really put him to the test and see if he responds. He didn't seem to see me at the grocery store, so maybe he will think I don't know he's taken and try to get some on the side." I laughed at how deviant my mind could be--I just don't pull stuff like that--and shrugged it off, chuckling to myself.

Then as I was checking out, so were they. Right in front of me. He stood there, weight shifted onto one leg, hip askew in a decidedly non-alpha-male way. "He's fooling himself. Surely it's a phase." I then swallowed hard, gathered my courage, and looked. It had to be done. She was flipping through a magazine, left hand hidden just enough. Until she put the magazine back on the rack. And then the gold and glassy sparkle of horror. They are engaged. Office store boy is engaged. But look at the way he's standing!! And it's all fair game until the covenants are made, right? No, no, no. OK, so even if he were available, I wouldn't do anything about it. No, I'm not about to make him my boyfriend. But can't I just be allowed the fantasy?! *sigh* Moving on...

...speaking of which, there was this guy at the gym the other night who caused much bruising around tooth marks on my left index finger knuckle. I'm talking quick-throw-me-in-a-cold-shower-and-sing-a-few-thought-replacement-hymns hot. I'm not usually that affected, but...well, I'm going to go take a cold shower and think virtuous thoughts.


GeckoMan said...

OMohommie, you make me laugh!Thanks for the inward smiles! How's the hymn singing going?

playasinmar said...

It is a phase... and stop calling it Shirley.

Kengo Biddles said...

I agree with you Playa. But what can I call you if I can't call you Shirley? Mary, maybe?

boo said...

You are a funny, funny guy!

Sorry he was taken, but rest assured that there are many a girl disappointed by the fact that they are engaged as well... ;-)