You Turn Me On

So...I was in the gym tonight, getting my cardio workout in, and I realized something that may help me avoid future run-ins with shower stall pervs.

When my regular workout shirts are dirty, I resort to my backup T's, two of which are funny gifts from some friends in Seattle, one which reads "Grade A Beef" (funny because it's completely farcical) and another showing a bunk bed with a big moving lump under the covers on the bottom bunk and reads "Sleeps well with others." They thought that'd be funny since I was moving to Utah to live with other mohos. Hardy har har. When I'm feeling particularly flippant, I'll wear the "sleeps well with others" shirt just for the comedy factor (maybe a few times a year). Such was the case tonight.

A couple of times, I've forgotten I was wearing it and kept wondering why people were looking at me: did I have something on my face? Or I'd wonder why people kept chuckling when I walked by. Then I'd remember the probable explanation and laugh to myself. Tonight, though, I was well aware.

I also am aware that wearing such a shirt might actually attract the attention of people for whom it isn't completely laughable and silly to consider hooking up at the gym. So I figure if I see any of those, "yeah, baby, you like it dirty, I'll see you in 10 minutes in the sauna" looks, I'll do my best to communicate utter disinterest or disgust at their sleaze.

Tonight, as I went into the locker room, I was humming along with my MP3 player. I had actually been to the locker room earlier to go to the bathroom, and was humming along to the same song then because after leaving the bathroom and resuming my workout, I stopped the song to listen to the TV instead, then turned it back on when I finished my workout and headed back to the locker room. So here I was, second time in the locker room, humming the same song by The Ugly Americans to myself, and it dawned on me that perhaps, late at night in the gym, during repeated trips to the locker room, wearing a shirt that says "sleeps well with others", I should consider not humming a song called You Turn Me On. Relatively obscure though the song may be, it seems like just one too many invitations...