03 November 2009

You Don't Know Me

...and I'm OK with that. Weird? Maybe. Do I care? I don't think so.

Hidden In The Light said he wanted his readers to get to know him, as I think other bloggers do. I think the whole "ask me anything" thing is kinda fun and interesting; I just don't care to do it, myself. I'd like to see more interest-grabbing questions, though, like "Are you into slightly older, skinny dudes?" or "You don't know me, but did you know I know where you sleep?" or "What's your oddest physical feature?" or "Can you do the helicopter?"

Besides, I prefer to talk about what's interesting to me, not what's interesting to you. Duh.

I do enjoy tracking stats and such--I've been a bit fascinated at times by trying to figure out what nights are prime, what times of day, what topics attract more comments, whether more people visit when I post when others are quiet or when I join some furious blogstorm, how people find my blog, how many return readers I have, that sort of thing--but it's more about identifying trends and patterns than it is about lusting after hits or satisfying the masses. If I were hit-greedy, I'd be a lot more dramatic and controversial or would be more careful not to offend my few precious faithful readers. I have very few hits compared to many bloggers, maybe peaking at 110-120 page loads when I post (and that's including loads from a small handful of readers who sometimes come back multiple times a day, maybe to check for comments, maybe because they're obsessed and stalking, maybe because they're bored), and even that's a relatively recent increase.

If I write something that gets no response (which is pretty typical of the posts I think are particularly enlightening and will make the world a better place), I frown in puzzled consternation at the lack of appreciation for fine thinking then shrug and move on with my life, saying, "Hey, I tried to change the world. If nobody cares, I guess the world will just be worse off without my vast wisdom and experience," and making a mental note, "Nobody cares about your stupid insecurities, cognitive dissonance, loneliness, icky crushes on girls, or affinity for gymnasts. Then I tell myself, "Now now, it's not that nobody cares, it's that you wrote a crappy post." Then I offer myself some comfort, "That may be, but it's just as likely that there just wasn't anyone out of your dozen readers who had something to add or expound on. Could be as simple as that." Then I shrug and go back to perusing Facebook.

Incidentally, part of me wants to put my face on my blog, my name, just be out and open like I am in general. But more of me thinks that's all irrelevant and distracting and would rather retain some degree of anonymity. Besides, I'm a "man of mystery" by some assessments, and I kind of enjoy that. You think you know me well, but you don't know me. You can't see it, but I'm making a mystery man face to prove it.

I'm interested in doing more podcast-type posts, which feel more "personal" to me, with inflection, tone, etc. Kind of like YouTube but without that distracting, boring video. OK, sometimes I like seeing people's expressions, but seriously, there are few people I want to look at for more than a minute at a time, and doesn't it all seem the tiniest bit narcissistic to be posting videos of yourself pontificating or venting? What? A blog's no different? Take it back. OK, so maybe I just think video is a bit fluffy in most cases.

Speaking of fluffy, my eyes feel that way. It's late. I should be sleeping. Actually, I should be using the bathroom. All that water. Oh, speaking of water, I drank a bunch 'cause I was at the gym, which reminds me of the post I was going to write when I got home. Shoot. I'm going to write it now, aren't I? Right after the bathroom. Blogging is so weird...


marriedtoamoho said...

I want to know what people want to know about me- but I don't necessarily want to talk about what they want to talk about. It's ALL about me. ALL!

Quinn said...

Hmm.. There are a few things your blogged about that I have been thinking as well. The mohos who left the church are out there with their faces, and probably grabbing more attention than us church going mohos.

I always think it would be good for the world, or just even the church to see active good LDS gay members.. but I dont wanna be the first lol.

Original Mohomie said...

MTAM, I can identify with that. :-)

Quinn, while I'm not especially church-going as of late, I still have reasons for maintaining anonymity, and it's not about shame but about...I don't know, this blog is for people to find a perspective they might identify with or not understand but want to, but it's not "personal", despite being frank in a way...make sense? Yeah, didn't think so. :-)

Anyway, I see increasingly many out-and-open faithful LDS blogs. I think it's a trend that will continue, especially since, as you said, the most vocal, out-there bloggers and YouTubers tend to be either former LDS or active LDS but subscribing to notions far outside of official church statements or policy, so faithful, more in-line LDS are feeling pressure to respond...

Scott said...

it would be good for the world, or just even the church to see active good LDS gay members...


I suppose that makes (or made...) me an active bad LDS gay member? ;)

O-Mo touched on the issue... the "out-there" bloggers tend to subscribe to ideas that vary from the church's official position.

But technically isn't that going to be the case just by default? According to God Loveth His Children gay members (excuse me, members who experience same-gender attraction) aren't supposed to "flaunt" their attractions or associate with others who do. They're supposed to stay closeted and anonymous. As soon as you take that step into the public eye you've made your first move against the church's wishes.

There are vocal, public, "out-there" bloggers who have testimonies and would like to be good, active members of the church (even if they don't see eye-to-eye with the church on every gay-related issue), but the church doesn't make it easy for them (or at least local leaders often don't).

I think it'd be grand if more moho bloggers revealed their identities--especially those who adhere more closely to the church's policies. The more of us who are public, the harder it gets for members to be judgmental and prejudiced. I tried to make a difference, but my views on gay marriage destroyed my credibility in many peoples' eyes. Maybe others can have more success.

Hidden said...

1. I am a faithful, diligent reader and have yet to be offended.
2. You do not write boring or crappy posts. They are always enlightening and enjoyable, often giving me pause for thought.
3. I don't comment more, ie engage in dialogue/start the uber-pithy conversation in the comments because I'm not good at that sort of thing.
4. You know me AND I know where you sleep.