05 June 2007

Ninja Vanish

So...I just clicked on a link to a particular blogger's blog only to find he had suddenly disappeared from all existence. How queer. So I think to myself, "Why am I not surprised?" *biting lip* Is that rude and presumptuous of me? Hear me out, if you will.

Sometimes, people seem to appear (in the blog world and in online groups) suddenly and unusually confidently on the scene of sexually repressed mohos. They know nobody personally, unlike most who burst confidently onto the scene. Nobody has met them. They sound a lot like other mohos. ...almost TOO much like other mohos. Yet, they say things that disarm you and make you question your skepticism. And as quickly as they popped in, and before you really start believing they might be who they claim, they pop out and are lost forever in the ethereal homo void outside the Blessed Realm of Mohodom. The way I see it, there are a few probable explanations for this:

a) They were feigning confidence. When confronted with the overpowering ease and forthrightness of the rest of us enlightened and uber-confident mohos *cough* *cough*, they are suddenly fearful and run back into the gay-mo closet where life is serene and understandable once again. ...uh-huh.

b) They're disgusted. They fly onto the scene expecting to find other mohos as emotionally healthy and socially prestigious as themselves, even being active church-goers (what?! you don't have to be in complete denial?), but they are completely disillusioned when they find out we're all self-loathing and/or egomaniacal attention-mongers. They consequently turn away in dismay.

c) Mom/Dad/Bishop/Psychotherapist/God himself said, "Stop interacting with those other mohos. They're making you more queer." Dutiful obedience follows.

d) They're attractive spies of the Dark Master--I mean--Affirmation--I mean--bitter gay ex-mo organizations pawning themselves off as moderate and fair-minded--I mean...bite my tongue--anti-reparative henchmen, working their way into the tightly-knit moho circles to reveal the hypocrisy of those who are pious paragons of the possibility of change by day, skanky whores by night.

e) They are not, it turns out, young, hot, blond, active LDS, surfer mohos but are, in fact, slimy, revolting-even-to-their-mothers, ex-mormon sex fiends hoping to lure away sweet, unsuspecting mohos from the fold to then strip them of their virtue in as filthy and kinky a way as possible.

So while (d) and (e) are remarkably unflattering depictions, these 5 scenarios are the probable explanations I've come up with. This post is really meant as an exploration of the quirkiness of our ultra-personal, impersonal online world, not a slanderous jab at our Vanishing Ninja Moho. Still, I can't help but wonder which of the above, if any, describes our brief appearance by the Vanishing Ninja Moho. Now, the world may never know.

...and he left before I had the chance to let him lure me away. Dang. I mean, I'm probably not easily lured, but the thought that those pics might have been real might be worth a little nibble. ...no, no, no nibbling. Bad me. Back to the home aversion therapy kit! Excuse me while I punish myself for my thoughts.

P.S. -- Upon review, I just realized this blog may attract the attention of people Googling "kinky skanky queer Ninja sex whores".

How exciting.


calvin said...

Aww, I was hoping he had just changed his blog address and I'd eventually find it again.

How about the possibility that someone close to him happened upon the blog, exposing secrets he didn't want exposed? That was my guess.

Original Mohomie said...

Nah. He said he openly told people. Has to be something else. I think I'll just opt for option (e). It extinguishes any unclean thoughts I might otherwise have about him. ;-)

Max Power said...

I vote for e also. I hate to admit it, but in the days of, er, browsing the internet for pics of attractive guys (I trust that none of you have ever done that in the past or present) I could swear that I had seen those pics before. They were a little too professional.

Plus, when I invited him to come hang out in LA with John and me 2 weeks ago, he gave some lame excuse about how hanging out with other gay Mormons made him "too sad". I'll have to dig up the email.

playasinmar said...

"kinky skanky queer Ninja sex whores"

Who hasn't googled that?

Abelard Enigma said...

There is another possibility

f) A slimy, revolting-even-to-their-mothers, ex-mormon sex fiend contacted him and freaked him out.

Sean said...

i did a vanishing act but came back under a differnt guise. but my excuse is found in point e of your list.

nevertheless, i found this post quite funny. thanks for the good chuckle.


Original Mohomie said...

Now, now, Max, let's try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Mohos can be models, too. :-)

Besides, I actually know a couple of people who really do get a bit down hanging out with many mohos...something along the lines of option (b)?

Calvin and Abelard, good call! Although, the someone "finding out" is probably along the lines of option (a), so maybe I'll lump it into that.

Sean, I got a kick out of your series of endearingly bumbling comments, of which I approved ONE at your request. I've also submitted multiple comments on someone else's blog when I didn't notice they were moderated. And let it be publicly known that Sean MEANT to say (c). Those of you fearing his creepy, predatory nature can breathe a sigh of relief.

Mr. Fob said...

Are you saying there aren't any kinky skanky queer Ninja sex whores here? Man, Google, you've failed me again.