01 June 2007

Lacking Intimacy Among the Mohos

So...I'm finding it actually seems hard to become close to many of the mohos here. Maybe it's because there are so many of us. I can think of a few mohos I would like to get to know better that I haven't, but there are so many that I simply can't do it. I'm only one man, for goodness' sake.

Maybe there's a candy store vibe. Why pick just one candy when there are so many to try? Are we all secretly window shopping rather than making actual friends? Am I doing that?

I have often found it easier to spend quality one-on-one time with my straight friends here. Even the married ones. And the beauty of it is that there's no concern over who will be attracted to whom, and we don't have to talk about moho topics all the time, and we relate on several levels (we're actually friends even though they don't share my affinity for the male physique--go fig). There's just less weirdness. With the mohos, it just seems hard to spend good one-on-one time sometimes. Maybe that's best when at least one of the parties is unsure of his own or the other's motives or afraid of his own weakness. I can totally understand and respect that. I'm just saying that's not an issue with the straight boys, so I sometimes feel like our interactions are more diverse and meaningful, not to mention more emotionally healthy.

And maybe the moho thing really isn't much different from guys and girls hanging out one-on-one. Hm...no, it really is for the most part, but not in some ways.

I love my mohos, and yet I'm kind of tired of the weirdness around this whole moho thang. Is it less weird in gay circles where people actually ARE admittedly looking for partners?

I guess all I'm getting at is that even though I still have not gotten to know several mohos around here as well as I would like, maybe it's about time to branch out and rejoin the straight world more, even the straight and single world. Scary.


Kengo Biddles said...

Sounds like a plan to me, but, you know, there are the non-single mohos that you can be friends with. :)

playasinmar said...

Geez, who was it who scared you off?

Samantha said...

Is it less weird in gay circles where people actually ARE admittedly looking for partners?

From what I've observed, heard, and experienced, no.

Sometimes, though, people just don't click--often, that clicking is a little overwhelming, especially when you don't really want it.

Welcome to the complex world of human interaction. I'm still trying to figure it out. However, I'm also convinced that one day, I will.

Original Mohomie said...

Kengo, I actually do have some married moho friends. And some of the weirdness is not there with them, for sure. Some is, though. It's just mohoness in general, really. :-) I'm used to having guy friends with whom nothing romantic-like could happen. I've had moho friends for over a year, but never so many acquaintances as now. It's been an adjustment for sure.

Heh, not scared off, Mr. Sealess-beach. Weirded out sometimes, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about here. ;-)

Samantha, thanks for the input. It really is intriguing to adjust to new subcultures. I just wanna enjoy my mohoness but also keep a grip on the "normal" world in the meantime. Balance.

-L- said...

Well, another take is that among the mohos I like the absence of cliquishness. Sometimes when I know people are good friends in real life (with geographic proximity, or whatever) I feel like they ignore others. This is understandable and I'd probably be the same way, except I can't become good friends with anyone based on in-peron interactions, so I feel a little lonely sometimes.

I've noticed that there are pseudo-islands in moho land. But what can you do?

by a thread said...

Hey O-Moho! The next time we go on a date, we are going to either, a)take the churches advice and double date, because then I won't accidently take advantage of you, b) go do something fun, like a hike, or something where we are moving and not staring awkwardly across the table from one another, or c) I think I just bought a sweet boat today...hows that for a good MOHO activity?

Seriously though, I think I agree with Samantha...it is scary to be getting close to someone that you don't know where it is going and where it should be going? And then, with your comment...sometime I personally am afraid of myself and my capabilities and limits.

Finally...I have been a bit wierded out by it too. I am not sure how to act. Sorry if I am one of thos that makes it difficult for you! Hugs.

playasinmar said...

C'mon, one of us was so devastatingly handsome you had to retreat. Who was this dashing ne’er-do-well?