25 March 2008

Hot Orca-Men

Abridged from a (VERY) old e-mail to my buddy Tito. I'm totally opening myself up to relentless teasing for my odd dream, bordering on bestiality fetish, but even though I'm not turned on by animals, I thought the dream was just magical.

...oh my, I can only imagine the Google hits that last sentence is going to draw. Yikes.

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I was working at a place where we took people out on the water for tours. One day, when we went to the little dock attached to the building, there was an orca right there at the dock. It poked its nose up and even landed itself onto the dock, scooting into the building a little bit, nose-first, as if to investigate us. I was dumbfounded but had always wanted to touch one, so I walked up and petted its nose. It was thrilling. It seemed to respond positively, and we had a little moment of connection. So cool.

But the tour group had to leave--they were going to see something else--and they didn't seem nearly as interested in the orca, so they didn't interact with it.

OK, so in my dream there was a co-worker at the tour place who was a tall, dark, and handsome guy. The next day, I'm at a little work social, my friend [Jane] is there, everything's fun 'n all. This gorgeous co-worker walks into the room looking irritated and mildly hurt, sulking about how the tour group had ignored him yesterday. During the whole tour, they ignored him. He even came right up to see us at the dock, and they didn't spend time with him in the bay.

It was then I realized that HE was the orca--a sort of orca-man? I told him how I spent time with him and I touched his nose and was captivated by him. He seemed to be calmed and contented that I had genuinely been captivated. As we carried on a thoroughly engaging conversation, his attractiveness certainly wasn't in question, but I was pretty sure he was straight, so I didn't entertain the attraction.

Meanwhile, [Jane] was standing next to me, getting closer and closer. Strange since she's not interested in me. As we're finishing up our conversation, the guy says, "I am gay, even though most people think I'm straight by the way I act." Just as he said that, [Jane] planted one on me, on the lips. Just a peck, but precisely timed to coincide with that little revelation. My gaze was on him the whole time, though, as he withdrew. My eyes followed him as he went out the door, looking back momentarily. With my gaze fixed on him, I wiped my lips to get rid of any lipstick she might have left. I had found someone good-looking, sweet, and genuine, and he was also an orca! What's not to love?! As he coyly departed, I stood there thinking about actually dating him...and it was exciting.

Then, while standing there, feeling all contented and twitterpated, I woke up. I was ticked to wake up. You know how you have that moment where you're just waking up and questioning the reality of your dream, thinking maybe at least part of it was real? But when it dawned on me that my new source of twitterpation was also an orca, that pretty much clinched it as "not real". *sigh* No orca-man-riding in the ocean for me.

5 comments:

Chase said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beastality
Read the first few sentences on that for starters. Oh, and i am sure there is a hot orca-man out there for you. You'll find him.

l'écureuil said...

That's an awesome dream! How come I never get those anymore? :(

Anonymous said...

Were you, by any chance, listening to Regina Spektor's "Hotel Song" before you went to sleep?
...I have dreams of orca whales and owls/
but I wake up in fear...

Original Mohomie said...

Ha, no, Regina Spektor hadn't released that album yet when I had that dream, but I LOVE that line of that song. I smile every time I hear it.

...incidentally, "someone you know," who the @#$% are you? :-)

Anonymous said...

Who am I? That's a silly question to ask of someone who doesn't exist ;)