A friend's younger brother recently came to terms with the fact that he's attracted to guys, and it's kind of heart-warming and exciting to see him being honest with himself and starting the journey to greater personal understanding.
At the same time, it's a little disheartening to think about the fact that...I don't know who I'd refer him to, or who I'd trust with him. I can think of only a small handful of guys who I believe would keep his best interest in mind.
It makes me think of a kid a friend told me about who was preparing to go on a mission, and he connected the kid with a few mohos in his area whom he trusted to help him with his goals and support him. Before long, many of them had fooled around with him.
Granted, the kid was a "big boy" who could make his own decisions, but the fact that so many of these trusted friends were so willing to contribute to derailing his decision to serve a mission and diverting his attention to less meaningful pleasures for their own enjoyment is unsettling, to say the least.
This is not unique to mohos, of course. It's a classic tale: the new kid just coming to terms with his homosexuality is often fresh meat and fair game for the more predatory types in most gay circles. And there will be hoards of people telling you to "be yourself" and then defining for you what that is, telling you "who you are".
There are also people who will insist that unless you thoroughly repress your desires and sweep them under the psychological rug, you are not normal, and you are not faithful. Some will insist that you speak of the subject only in hushed and reverent tones and never laugh lightheartedly at your situation. For some people, that may be best or may be what they need at that time, but that's not my approach, others will just have to deal with that.
I guess I just want to throw out a warning to those who are just beginning to explore the nuance and ramifications of their homosexuality. I don't want to create an unnecessary sense of distrust. But do be healthily skeptical. Do be smart about who you trust, and about those to whom you become vulnerable. Carefully choose people who will respect your desires, goals, beliefs, and free agency. Exploring various perspectives can be helpful to define your own, but while doing so, be aware of motives, your own and others', and whether they are in everyone's best interest.
There are many people who will seem to be looking out for you but who ultimately don't understand what selflessness really entails. I'm not sure I always do, either, but I try. The point is, we're all human, and we're all mistaken, and we're all right, so just be wise and recognize that nice or flattering words are no substitute for consistent action, attitude, and respect.
With a bit of wisdom and moderation, you should be able to find plenty of help and support without looking back feeling like you've mindlessly joined one herd or another or given someone excessive access to your emotions or your body but have examined and forged your path with care and integrity. I think that's important.