Somebody brought up, the other day, the fact that gay guys tend to act "different" and that some people seem to "learn" to act gayer. The person who brought it up puzzled about why. Not wanting to go into theories about socially learned behavior, gender issues, and the development of early gay culture, I simplified the gayification process of dudes after they come out: "So other gay guys know you're gay." He said, "Oh, that makes sense." So I am now sharing this profound "duh" moment with the world.
That said, flapping wrists and squeaky voices are a major turn off for me. I prefer people who are..."natural", not affected. Sorry to those of you who are naturally flamboyant. There are others who like that stuff. And of course, my preference against it would make it tougher to scope out random prospects if I ever started looking, but I'd prefer to meet people through friends anyway, not from across the bar. Besides, there's always tell-tale eye contact to offer some clues, and that's more about personal connection than gay-face is.
Incidentally, I actually caught myself doing this at the gym not long after discussing it. I saw a semi-cute guy I thought might be "family", and I immediately started acting a bit "gayer"--walking differently, moving my hands differently--to test his reaction...fortunately, I realized this and snapped out of it to avoid letting myself gain the habit subconsciously. I was both disgusted with and amused by myself. Those gays'll suck you in if you're not careful.