Many Mohos (and Homos) in Mormonville

So there are simply a LOT of gay boys around here. I don't really have anything deep to say about this, but maybe it'll be an interesting glimpse into moho life for our 'non-challenged' friends.

I just can't get over it. At the mall, at the gym, downtown...there are a lot of good-looking, clean-cut guys who totally set off the 'dar. And TWO gay pride festivals per year? Seriously. Once you start looking for homoness, you see it EVERYWHERE here. I also realize not everyone I suspect is, in fact, homo. My 'dar is sometimes overly sensitive. But still...

Case in point: a while back, I went to a musical theater performance of one of my local mohos, and in the audience, I spotted two guys I was sure were 'family'. Now, my little moho buddy AtP insisted one was not. "You just want him to be," he insisted. "True as that may be," I replied, "I really think he is." Well, after the performance, guess who came up to our performing friend to give him a big ol' queerlike hug. Yup. I raised an eyebrow at AtP, who was very upset with himself for being mistaken. As well he should be.

The point is...actually, that was just fun to tell, but if I had a point, it would probably be the thought I had just the other day: there are probably more opportunities to get into trouble here than in other places I've been.

Why, you ask? I shall tell you.

I, for one, tend not to be interested in the more flamboyantly queeny types *rolling my eyes*. Or the butch leather 'n chains types *fighting gag reflex*. Or the edgey, indie, druggy types *face of complete disinterest*. I tend to be interested in your average, clean-cut, well-presented guys. I don't imagine I'm unique in this aspect, nor do I think it's uniquely a moho phenomenon. I'm just saying I find more gay people I relate to on a basic level here than other places I've been. And I most enjoy the company of people who do not drink, smoke, or watch harsh or vulgar entertainment. Needless to say, the prominence of LDS cultural influence here fosters many such mostly 'well-behaved' gay boys who most people probably would just explain away as "soft male" or "a nice guy". Ladies and gentlemen, many (not all, but many) of your soft male, nice guys you probably just think of as remarkably sensitive and respectful of women are, in fact, homogays. Or, to put it more mormon-culturally correctly, they have an unusually strong affinity, sexual or romantic or otherwise, towards members of the same sex and/or gender.

Now, I'm not about to hook up with some hot stud on the street or give a little wink to hot "Number 7" (that's his shirt--"7") at the gym. If the really cute guy with the amazing physique and a seemingly great personality came up to me in the sauna and offered to make out, I'd tell him to back off and find someone more sexually desperate than myself, and his slutiness would probably kill most, if not all, of any attraction I felt.

The danger lies with the "nice boys", of whom there are many here. Temptation is more subtle and enticing with those with whom I feel comfortable. Maybe this is what people are talking about when they say girls feel free to make out with a boy, around here, if they feel a garment line. I always used to say, "How twisted is that?" Maybe I get it now, to some extent.

So there you have it. Is San Francisco a safer place for your average moho than Mormonville? To me, it just might be. Who knew?

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Afterthought: Having seen melodramatic over-reactions to other people's blog posts on occasion, let me just prevent such by clarifying that no, I am not referring to anyone in particular, and no, I am not on the verge of fornicating with a nice mormon gay boy or trying to do so. You needn't lock up your friends and neighbors to protect them from the irresistible seduction of O-Mo. I think this was sparked by a conversation or a 'gym epiphany'. I get those sometimes. There's a lot of time to reflect on matters of life between sets at the gym. And there's a lot of eye-candy at my gym to spark reflection on the gayer matters of life...