28 April 2008

27-Year-Old Virgin

Several years ago, I was walking through the university's campus between classes with a friend of mine, a guy in my singles ward who was several years older than me. This was the "grandfather" of the ward, the guy everybody looked at and said, "Wow, I need to start dating...NOW." I wouldn't say he was a cautionary tale; his presence was just...a reminder, a catalyst, if you will. Nobody wanted to be "the ancient one" of the singles ward. He was a whopping twenty-seven years old! Granted, we liked the chap. Nice fellow. Fun. Made a mean shake. But he was twenty-seven and SINGLE! But this is all beside the point.

We were walking on a common path through a busy building towards our respective classes, headed up the fully-loaded stairway of the lobby. He was getting rather worked up about something or another--I forget what now--and I made some comment to him about calming down or he'd give himself a heart attack. He quickly snapped back, in a good-natured tone with an edge, "Well, you'd be acting the same way if you were a 27-year-old virgin!!"

Keep in mind, this was no church school nor located in the heart of mormondom. In this stone, heathen building, the exclamation seemed to echo and roll off of every wall. Heads turned in stunned bemusement. I threw my head back and laughed out loud at the comedy of his pent-up sexuality. He looked mildly amused by his own pathetic state.

Well, old man, it's been years since your public proclamation, and I can now say I've been there, done that. I feel for ya, buddy, I feel for ya. I'd say I've got you beat, but we've been in touch here and there, and as far as I know, you're still ahead. Once again, I think, "I'd rather not find out what it's like to be in your shoes," but let's be honest, I'm likely to get there, myself.

You know the movie "40-Year-Old Virgin"? I haven't seen it, but I saw the previews. I'm nowhere near forty yet, but sometimes, I think I'm closer than I think. Isn't part of the comedy of that movie the idea that such people don't exist? *sigh*


Chase said...

No i didnt feel like the movie pushed the idea that 40 year-old virgins dont exist. It more just followed the first romance of this man where he did share that, and they held out to his wedding night if i am remembering correctly. Oh and the differce, he couldnt get anyone in the film. That is why he was a virgin. You, you can get someone. I am sure.

Anne Bonny said...

I feel your pain.

Original Mohomie said...

How did I never respond to these comments? Well, I appreciate the sympathies...and reassurances. ;-)