Addendum (AKA damage control): the statement in the first paragraph was misrepresented as originally written. Upon re-reading the entry and reviewing that evening in my mind, I've realized my own mood and disappointments colored the comment, and I connected meaning to it that may not have been there. I also originally decided to simplify the story, but simplification isn't worth leaving someone feeling completely misrepresented, even if I didn't say who it was, so I have revised this entry in an attempt to represent it at least somewhat more accurately.
Reminder #3,593 how I'm just not normal.
During a conversation with a few gay friends, one asked who each of us would most want to have sex with out of the people present. I was tired, and the question seemed crude and juvenile to me, and I refused to answer at first, but when pressed, I was the stick in the mud and answered seriously: I said none, but if I had to choose, it would have to be the person I knew best, because I just couldn't enjoy sex like I'd want without trust and a real connection. Everyone else seemed to have an answer, and one said something like, "Well, there are people you want to have sex with, and there are people you want to know." This person may read this entry, and if you do, I still love you, but due to my already-disgusted mood that evening and the thoughts I (probably incorrectly) associated with it, that statement was quite a turn-off. I realize the question was posed mostly out of lighthearted fun, and the answers weren't meant to be a deep exploration. I don't think he meant he actually would be physically intimate with someone he didn't have a real connection with.
Nevertheless, I had been facing the disappointing realization more than ever that most guys do seem to think along those lines to some extent. And don't get me wrong--I also totally see a hotty and think, "Oh my gosh, pass me the whipped cream. NOW." The thing is, when I think about actually following through with that, it kind of grosses me out, and I think, "No way. Not without dinner and some really good conversation first." *tongue in cheek* The sad part is, I then look at the random hotty and most often realize I don't have much interest in conversation with him, based on initial appearances, so carrying through with the whole physical thing probably wouldn't stand a chance, and I move along with my day. Of course, that doesn't keep me from biting my knuckle at said hotness and wishing there were personality to back that up so I'd be more tempted...'cause it's fun to be tempted...no, temptation bad!
But many things I've seen and heard confirm every disgusting stereotype about the pigs men are, and I feel like an oddity, an anomaly of sorts. I realize this is probably sounding like a preachfest, and that's totally not how I mean it to come across. I mean, that's the quickest way to kill the fun of a flippant post. I'm simply stating my observations here, actions, behaviors, and attitudes. And I realize I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm just really turned off to trying to pursue anything with a guy if this is what most of us are about.
Maybe I should just stick with girls. Gosh! OK, I'll start dating girls...next weekend. Oh, I'm busy all weekend. OK, maybe the next weekend. Oh shoot, busy that weekend, too. Too bad...