06 October 2010

Hot tub happiness

Tonight at the gym, while I was soaking in the hot tub, the busily bobbing water aerobics class in the adjacent pool pleasantly popped up and down to the happy beat of Somewhere Over the Rainbow performed by Israel Kamakawiwo╩╗ole.

(kind of an odd video in parts, but I suspect it's somehow appropriate to his personality)

As I sat there looking up at the tiles on the ceiling, musing about eye contact with the really nice-seeming and attractive guy in the pool I knew I'd be interested in if I were more "over it" and the slight absurdity of how we "work" all day then make fitness into a recreation in and of itself, a feeling of profound peace and well-being washed over me as I caught some of the lyrics: someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me...and the dream that you dare to...why, then, oh why can't I...

There was no clear revelation, no indication of why things would be OK, or how, just a peaceful feeling I decided I needed no explanation for and would just take in. I opted to entertain confidence, or faith, that there is beauty and happiness and a future full of experiences of all kinds to learn from and confront and enjoy, and pain to compel me to learn and grow and find more strength and happiness to meet the next barrage of challenges. And somehow, it felt right to trust that hope and peace, even if it was induced by the conspiring efforts of warm, vibrating water and a simple song which echoed fond childhood memories.