19 January 2008

Some Questions on Coupling

If the point of marriage is ultimately to form an eternal family unit, then what is the point of a sexless or childless marriage? Maybe adoption becomes the noblest option? Are mixed-gender marriages who never have children really more "correct" than same-gender couples just because of the genders of the parties? Aren't both about companionship?

Maybe the value of a mixed-sex couple is that men and women are complementary creatures? Is it possible that two men can learn as much from a relationship as a man and a woman? Or are they alike in all the wrong ways? Does God really intend for so many people to deny themselves romantic companionship in favor of a more solitary life? Does deity really insist we hold out for the vague possibility of a heterosexual relationship?

Are those people who insist same-sex, romantic relationships have made them happier and more motivated to be better people and more loving actually just justifying their disobedience and leaning on shallow infatuation? Is it possible that a same-gender companionship can have all the complementarity and beauty of a mixed-gender companionship?

Is it possible to fill the void left by lack of romance by simply having close, loving friends? Is romantic companionship just a passing fancy, or is it part of a wholeness of intimacy that no person should be without, if they have the option not to be? Is that intimacy irreplaceable, or can it be fulfilled in other relationships of a completely non-romantic nature?

Is this all a peripheral aspect of a gospel of love, applicable as needed for individual circumstance, or is it a core doctrine of the gospel, a firm directive from heaven, independent of cultural construct, that all of God's children are to either marry the opposite sex (or work towards that) or shun all romance in their lives and focus on other things? Is it a matter of right and wrong, or more a matter of certain blessings versus others?

That's all for now...I don't have the energy to try to answer my own questions, and I actually don't think I'm very interested in a lengthy discussion about this. They're just thoughts, questions which have floated through my mind on occasion, in relation to my own experience and understanding and also posed and sparked by conversations with friends.

3 comments:

Abelard Enigma said...

If the point of marriage is ultimately to form an eternal family unit, then what is the point of a sexless or childless marriage?

If that were true then when a spouse dies, there would be no point in the surviving spouse to remarry - especially if they are past child bearing age. Yet, it happens all the time, even among our general authorities.

agirlwho said...

The point of marriage is more than producing offspring. The doctrine of eternal marriage tells us that this union is where we become perfect. That might not make sense to us now, considering how imperfect we are and how difficult relationships can be, but the juxtaposition of man and woman, as it was ordained from the beginning, is necessary for our eternal progression.

I know that there are many things that can keep this from happening on earth. I know that God is merciful. In the meantime, I also know it is difficult to wait and wait to feel fulfilled. The point is, man and woman need each other. It might not seem that way for someone who deals with SSA, but that is the eternal truth of the matter. This is where the debate begins about what to do concerning marriage, dating, etc. and I'll just stop here because those choices are so individual.

The Impossible K said...

I think the most appropriate response to questions like those can be found in the scriptures:
"I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." (1 Nephi 11:17)
Every blessing we receive is an expression of God's love. And on the flip side, every act of faith or obedience shown on our part is an expression of our love for Him.
The answers weren't meant to come all at once. That's what faith is for. :)