07 January 2008

Chat Conversations - Walls and Doing What's Uncomfortable

The following is a transcript of an old chat session between me and my coworker and friend, Danish Boy. There's a lot more to the conversation which I'll probably post more of with his permission and as appropriate. I've also changed names to Blogger names and ommitted irrelevant sections of the conversation, but most of it is here in its original form:

[...]
O-Mo [11:11 AM]:

Oh, and did you read my blog entry about [agirlwho] and me chatting last night?

DanishBoy [11:11 AM]:

yes. Wonderful. Wish I could have been there.

O-Mo [11:13 AM]:

I told her I'm well aware you're "worried" about me and that you told me going to [a friend]'s farewell would have been "good for me" and when I asked why, you backpedaled and said something like "because we all wanted to see you" or some such thing. Then when I heard that he gave a really good talk, I knew why you had said that. You meddlesome chap, you.

DanishBoy [11:15 AM]:

oh, please. some one has to. You don't let anyone else in.
Not that I'm in.
Eventually.
But then again even if we got you drunk. ha! yeah. like that would ever happen.
Even if we did you still wouldn't let anything out. You're a vault.

O-Mo [11:16 AM]:

Uh-huh. It's funny--I don't even understand what you mean when you say I don't let anyone "in".

DanishBoy [11:17 AM]:

Hm... How do I word it right.
I need to take a language class on how to get the point across.

O-Mo [11:17 AM]:

No, I just think you don't understand how I work.

DanishBoy [11:17 AM]:

no one does. that's the point.
But apparently you understand how everyone else does
It's not fair.
[People your age] get to have so much fun.
[...]

O-Mo [11:18 AM]:

Either that, or I'm so "closed" that the concept of letting someone "in" doesn't make sense to me...but I just don't think that's it, somehow.

DanishBoy [11:18 AM]:

Meddling with other peoples brains.
Oh you have walls. Don't deny it.

O-Mo [11:18 AM]:

Ha, no meddling. I'm mostly totally upfront.

DanishBoy [11:18 AM]:

They're quite visible.

O-Mo [11:19 AM]:

Meddling implies behind-the-scenes work. [...]

DanishBoy [11:19 AM]:

I love reading posts from your journal. The authentic [O-Mo] [...]

O-Mo [11:20 AM]:

I prefer to work face-to-face with people. No orchestration. Or orchestration with their permission.

DanishBoy [11:21 AM]:

hmm... yes. That is totally how I prefer it.

O-Mo [11:21 AM]:

But part of what fascinates me about the movie "Uncorked" is the idea of a meddlesome relative turning out to have known what was best for their loved ones all along and making it happen, helping them realize what they really wanted when they would not discover it for themselves.

DanishBoy [11:21 AM]:

exactly.

O-Mo [11:21 AM]:

Interesting movie.

DanishBoy [11:22 AM]:

You do that for me in a twisted way. I was talking with [theimpossiblek] about it last night.

O-Mo [11:22 AM]:

Howso?
lol, and I love that my way is "twisted"!
I kind of feel happy about that.

DanishBoy [11:24 AM]:

well you always have ways of asking these probing questions that get me thinking. Then you make jovial comments that have this way of making me frustrated and a little upset that I didn't come up with the answers myself. You point out the obvious in a very tactful way.
you also bring the real issue to the front.
sometimes in a not so tactful way.

O-Mo [11:24 AM]:

lol
Sometimes, it takes a little discomfort to look at things plainly.

DanishBoy [11:25 AM]:

yeah. Definitely for me.

O-Mo [11:35 AM]:

For everyone, I'd say. For example, it's pretty uncomfortable for me to look with an open mind at a couple of things [agirlwho] and I discussed because they would require giving up some....things I really like and desire and hold tight to. Like how good it feels to be with...anyway.

DanishBoy [11:35 AM]:

yeah. That's the point though.
It probably is going to be way uncomfortable. In the long run I think it's worth it.

O-Mo [11:47 AM]:

Well, it depends on what's true.
That's the crux.

[...]

4 comments:

Danish Boy said...

Man, I totally forgot about this conversation.It was way good to re read. ha ha!! I actually learned something. This is fun. Which other one's were you thinking of posting? I'm sure I'd be fine with it.

The Impossible K said...

Haha! DanishBoy is right ya know- your walls would rival China's!! ;-)
(though really, who am I to talk?)
Thank you for letting that wall down long enough to reveal what you're "struggling" with... I can't say I empathize completely because I'd be giving myself too much credit, but I know that this has helped me with my own "struggles" as a friend and an A... :)
There was a line DanishBoy said that I can totally empathize with:
It probably is going to be way uncomfortable. In the long run I think it's worth it.
Finding an EC of the opposite sex (is there really any other way?) will be uncomfortable in many ways. (Do you doubt my sincerity? I could list 'em but I won't, for brevity's sake) - But I know it will be worth it. (This is speaking objectively as a friend, btw. Don't read anything more into it- cuz it's not there!)

Original Mohomie said...

Incidentally, finding an "EC" of the opposite sex is not the only viable alternative to finding a same-sex life partner. FYI. :-)

The Impossible K said...

I never conditioned it on that premise... I merely meant the only way to make it to that top tier of the great CK is with an eternal companion of the opposite sex. I said nothing about "alternatives," especially in reference to the choices you make in mortality. Heck, I'd be cutting myself out of the most comfortable "alternative" if that were the case!