28 October 2009

Moho Friendship Encyclopedia, Volume 1

I've noticed a lot of posts lately about friendships between gay/SSA/heterosexually-challenged folk. Several months ago, I started a post about the joys and conundrums of gay friendship which I have yet to go back and expound on. In the meantime, though, I figured I'd go through my blog and compile a list of posts on issues around moho friendship and romance in case anyone wishes to go back and read some. I've added a label (I'm very slowly working on back-labeling my posts and making "labels" useful for finding old posts on certain themes) called "Moho Friendship Issues" which I'll apply to each of those posts and any going forward.




About wanting that one best friend:
The Perfect Friend - 9 Dec 2007
About the longing to find an all-fulfilling friendship, a "best friend" who is everything and totally trusted and always available...




Questions around the blurred line between friendship and romance or sexuality:
Homophysicality - 31 July 2007
Exploring the distinction between passion and affection, and maintaining appropriate boundaries.

The Flesh is Willing But the Spirit is Appalled - 13 Jul 2009
Does physiological arousal mean you're on the brink of sin?

Heading It Off - 22 March 2008
Avoiding regret by averting temptation before it becomes overwhelming.

Keeping It Real - 9 Jun 2008
A personal example of how having made decisions ahead of time helped deal with an enticing opportunity.

To Whore or Not to Whore - 6 Feb 2008
Questioning what to do when desire for physical affection and passion is strong, and whether being a lip-whore is really not an option.

Why Be Friends When You Can Just Have Sex? - 29 Apr 2008
Reiterating my lack of interest in physical intimacy without emotional intimacy, in response to a silly "late night" question in a group of friends.



Crushing:
I've Got a Crush On You - 22 Oct 2009
Whether to tell a crushee about your feelings, hide them, or run away from the person.

Different Little Black Book - 15 Sep 2009
Secretly noting the guys I've crushed on as potentials if we both ever decided to date guys.

Desire Assuaged By Familiarity - 1 Jul 2007
The phenomenon known as "demystification": the loss of the fantasy you build around someone attractive by them becoming a "real person" as you get to know them.

Many Mohos (and Homos) In Mormonville - 19 Jul 2007
Recognizing how many gay/SSA LDS folks there are here and realizing they, not the out-and-proud ones, are the dangerous ones for me, the ones I tend to crush on.




When friendship turns into romance, and "breaking up":
Romance 101, Preface - 13 Mar 2008
Examples of a few romantic relationships and what I learned from the very distinct experiences they were.

Love and Longing in a Lovesac - 15 Oct 2009
The story of one good friend I fell for and let go because I couldn't reconcile my feelings for him.

I Liked You, You Putz - 3 Sep 2008
About a dream I had in which a formerly romantic friend and I almost rekindled what I originally thought we had...then waking up.




Kid in a candy store syndrome (or gay adolescence):
Hypersexual Stint - 22 Feb 2009
About my gay adolescence or uber-flirtatious time after beginning to meet more mohos.

Feeling Real at the Matises' - 8 Jan 2008
Coming off the fantasy and selfish flirtation into a more grounded place, socially.

Many Mohos (and Homos) In Mormonville - 19 Jul 2007
Recognizing how many gay/SSA LDS folks there are here and realizing they, not the out-and-proud ones, are the dangerous ones for me.

Lacking Intimacy Among the Mohos - 1 Jun 2007
Realizing my friendships had taken on a sort of "heaping mohos unto myself" trend, which wasn't conducive to true intimacy in friendships.




Other challenges I've encountered in moho friendships:
Whom To Trust? - 31 May 2008
The tentative caution of one who is initially coming to terms with his/her homosexuality and whether friendships with other mohos are "safe".

Looking Around Dismayed, Trying to Look Inward - 8 Jun 2008
Noticing unseemly behavior around me and trying not to be judgemental about it but learning from it.

Lacking Intimacy Among the Mohos - 1 Jun 2007
Realizing my friendships had taken on a sort of "heaping mohos unto myself" trend, which wasn't conducive to true intimacy in friendships.

Nobody's Bulletproof - 7 Sep 2007
Experience of briefly understanding how some people get into trouble by jumping into connections based on physical attraction; wondering how things might have gone differently had I not already made certain decisions...

Is It Really Just About Sex? - 23 Jan 2008
Responding to a friend's question about homosexuality seeming primarily physical.




Friendship insecurities I have heard more than once:
Why Do People Like Me? - 18 Oct 2007
Wondering if people ever like me for me, or whether most friendships are mutually selfish.




Misc thoughts on friendship and relationships in general:
Living Love - 13 Jan 2008
Questioning what it means to "love".

Marriage, Manlove, or Misery - 1 Aug 2007
Rejecting the false dichotomies that you must either marry a woman, or find a same-sex partner, or be miserable.

Regaining Perspective in a Lovesac - 15 Nov 2007
A conversation with a female friend about meaningful relationships and the slap upside the head it gave me.

Thank Goodness for the Discomfort of Friends - 2 Jan 2008
What friendship means to me: not someone to stroke my ego but someone to help me be better.

No Safe Investment - 11 Feb 2008
If a relationship is to be worth it, some investment and risk and vulnerability will be required.

Conflict, Integrity, and Ownership - 25 Aug 2007
Dealing with inner conflict through trying to maintain integrity and owning the decisions which are mine to make.

Coping With Scrapping Celibacy - 21 Feb 2009
Dealing with difficult feelings in reaction to seeing friends go from "celibate" to "sexually active" almost recklessly, and trying to figure out where the frustration comes from.

2 comments:

Quinn said...

This is stellar, could you post a link on the side of your blog to this post, so one can refer to it in the future?

Original Mohomie said...

Ha, glad you enjoyed it. I honestly don't expect many people to care enough to browse old posts, but every once in a while, I figure someone who's looking for perspectives on certain issues and who, for whatever reason, gets something from what I say, might like to peruse the archives, so I've considered making some kind of FAQ I can post on the sidebar. I could just include this in that. I shall consider further.